Life in Vegas || Brendon Urie

Chapter 18

"What's going on?" Brendon asked quietly.

"To sum it up, my dad got me a full ride at Michigan State, and I'm taking it," I sighed.

Brendon took a deep breath. "So you're leaving then?"

"Not yet," I shook my head. "There's still time."

"Time for what?" He questioned.

"Us," I answered meekly.

"You've been lying to me for weeks, then?" Brendon choked up and I felt it in my chest. "Why would you not tell me?"

"Because I was scared of how you'd react, and I wanted to just be able to get through graduation with you without this looming over us."

Brendon was quiet, save for the struggled breathing. I couldn't look at him, but I knew that this had driven him to tears. The man's worst virtue was his emotion.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked. My eyesight was blurring; the white yard lines before us looked more like piles of snow than precise lines.

"Everything," he scoffed. "In a matter of months, you're going to be six states away and I'll be here alone."

"Just because I'm leaving doesn't mean I'm leaving you, Brendon," I reasoned. "We can make this work, I swear. I love you too much to let distance ruin this."

"Kendall, you're not taking this seriously. You're going off to college and I know you won't just come back here when you're finished. Besides, you'll be there for what, six years? I think you and I both know the odds of that working."

I blinked more tears from my eyes and tried to find my voice that was engulfed in the lump of sadness lodged in my throat. I knew that he was right. It would be a hell of a ride trying to pull things off. But I still wanted to try... I couldn't give him up like that.

"Then let's make things work for these last months," I offered. "Let's make this time count."

"I just wish you would have told me earlier, so that we had more time," he said.

"I'm sorry."

We sat in silence for a few minutes, taking in the disheartening truth of the matter. I covered my mouth as tears slipped down my cheeks. The slight breeze turned the watery tracks dry and tossed my hair into a mess behind me, but I didn't care about that. I cared about the person next to me, and I cared about making things better.

I tried to grab his hand, but Brendon stood and straightened his suit. His red eyes and rosy cheeks served more pain to my chest.

"Brendon," I called weakly. He turned to look at me. "I love you."

"I'll see you later, Kendall," he replied shortly.

I watched him as he left and then got to my feet, trying to gather my dignity once more. At that time, I became grateful that I had driven separate from my parents, because they were waiting in my dad's car beside my own. They watched me with concern as I got in the car and drove away.

Instead of going straight home, I went to the parking lot of Meridy's, which was thankfully deserted since we were closed at the moment. I unbuckled my seat belt, put my head in my hands and let it all go.

I cried for so many reasons. I cried primarily because I was a certified terrible person at this point, and Brendon and I could be done for good. I cried because I didn't want to leave. I cried for all the things that would be lost because I had made things about myself again. I cried because what was so beautifully coming together, was now falling apart into an ugly rubble.