Time Capsule

Chapter 24

Time Capsule

Chapter 24

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Annabelle...

I walked for what felt like hours as I made my way to our spot. I hadn't even made it to the woods yet and my whole body felt like it was on fire. The pain was scorching my every limb and I just wanted to collapse on the sidewalk and give up.

But I couldn't. I had to get to our spot first. If I was going to die, I was going to die there.

Sadly, I had been thinking of suicide for the past two months, and it was absolutely terrifying.

I never used to think about it because I always had that little seed of hope that Niall would come back to keep me going. Now that the seed had been diminished, the hope was gone as well as the will to live. Everything had crumbled the past three months and I couldn't take it anymore.

The only thing that was really keeping me going the past few weeks was Melanie. She's everything to me and I felt terrible for leaving her this way after everything she's done for me. I really wish things could have been different. I wish we could have been a normal pair of eighteen year old girls that went shopping, and to the beach, and stuff like regular girls do. I feel like I've dragged her down for years and maybe me leaving will give her the opportunity to have a normal friendship and life.

I clutched the knife I brought to my chest. I planned on slicing my wrists, maybe a little too deep, and then throwing myself in the lake like I've thought before.

Would anyone find me? Maybe Niall would?

Niall.

Things could have been different. If he hadn't moved away, if he hadn't come back a jerk. If he hadn't done those things to me.

If he had just recognized me.

We could've been happy. He could have protected me, and my amount of pain would shrink. Maybe, just maybe our feelings would come out and we'd fall in love. He'd be my prince charming and I'd be his damsel in distress.

But all of that was burned to ashes, because of my father.

Every step felt like it was getting heavier on my body. I felt like I was slowly shutting down. Every breath I took, my head hung lower and my lungs burned more. Every time I blinked, sharp pain shot everywhere, making the next step harder to take.

I just want to die.

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Niall...

I deserved to die.

After all the sick shit I've pulled in the past five years, the past few months had been the icing on the fucking cake. This was like some twisted shit out of a badly written horror film. Why couldn't I have dealt with my grief like normal people. Go cry for a bit, get angry at the world, and then move on. Why the fuck did I have to turn into a spawn of Satan over night? With all the shit I did, I probably was one.

I had been sitting at our spot, just staring at the lake, for a little over an hour. I was just thinking about all the fucked up things I've done.

Why did it have to be Annabelle? Why couldn't it have been some other random girl? Not that it would've been any better, but it wouldn't be as sick as me ruining the life of the one person I cared about more than anyone in the world.