Look into my eyes

The little book

Last chapter:

And just then i have to have pneumonia. I couldnt take the medication so i had to go to the hospital, when the school said it to my teachers and class they wee all worried as hell and That made me realise that i have people That care about me.

I felt so sick the 2 weeks i was in hospital, i couldnt eat because i would throw up. And i didn't want to eat because of Maddy. I hasnt looked at my phone for the past week and i didn't want to. At night i was alone in my room in the hospital and most of the times i would lay down and cry and i was happy because nobody saw me. After almost 1 week and half i turned up my phone. All my friends had called me and asked me how i was, i just replied them with a 'Heey,yeah im fine.' Or al 'im getting better.' But the most messages Here From Maddy, but i jist wasnt ready to read them. It had broken my heart how i had to ignore him that friday, i just knew That if i would talk to him my heart would break again. I just should have listend to my friends when they said to watch out with him. They knew he would break my heart but i was to busy with looking at him to believe them.

After 2 weeks i felt better and i started to eat again. My family was so happy when i started talking again, but i think They were even happier when i was eating again. After a few days me and Jenn (my sister) were in her room just talking when she asked the question i was afraid of.

'What happend?'

'What do you mean?' I knew What she meant but i didn't want to answer it.

'You know what im talking about.' Ugh she knows me to well.

'Something..'

'Im your sister you can tell me everything.'

'I know...'

'Well then ... Spit it out'

'Okay, there was a new guy in my class called Maddy, he was so sweet to me but after a while he started asking questions about Sara, he kissed Elisa and he got in a relationship with Diana, i told him we best not be friends anymore and im just so hearthbroken, you should have seen how he looked at me That friday before i became sick.'

'Annie, why? Why are you always the one to be broken, you never have the luck but you deserve a guy that threats you with respect. First you were bullied, then Jeremy and now That Maddy guy.' I knew she was right, i never had luck in my life.

'I thought he could make me happy but he broke my hearth so hard and that's i stoped eating but now im starting to be healthy again, i promise.' I gave her a weak smile and walked out of her bedroom to my bedroom to get some sleep.

Now that it was summer holiday i could get my rest and trying to get some strenght again. Ijst hope that next year isnt going to be bad. I want to find luck and dont have mental breakdowns, That pain is the worst.

After a few weeks i bought myself a kind of diary where i would write in.

My first texts was the lyrics of a song that described me so well.

And there's a silent storm inside me

Looking for a home

I hope that someone's gonna find me

And say that i belong

Ill wait forever and a lifetime

To find im not alone

And there's a silent storm inside me

And someday ill be calm.

This song described me so well, the pain i felt was the storm inside of me and the hope that someone is going to find me so im dont feel lonely anymore.

I found it so much fun to write my feeling down so i started a new text inmediatly. This one was more personal.

Dreams, dreams

Made of horror,

Made of the past that wont be forgotten,

The past i want to forget,

But its so hard,

It scared me.

And to know,

My dream,

Became a horrible nightmare,

A nightmare nobody should have.

____________________________________

A/N

Her i am again.

Those texts i have really wirtten down in a little text book, do you like them? This ws really personal but i want to share it with all my readers.

I love you all

Instagram : @anse7

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BYEBYE SWEETIES 😘