I'm sick
People ask what's wrong. Why I always disappear after meals. Why my eyes are bloodshot. Why my hands shake
I'm sick
My mind is diseased, plagued by the thought that I will never be good enough
I'm sick
Living off what most would call a meal, and I would call a full day of food
I'm sick
People don't see. They say I've lost weight but it's not enough. They tell me they're proud that I'm making "healthy choices " when my meals are nothing more than 5 green beans
I'm sick
I'm so tired that my body feels heavy. It's hard to go through the day and succeed in school when your mind screams that you're a failure for eating a piece of cheese
I'm sick
My extraordinary IQ has only been used on memorizing calories and adding totals in my head, calculating my weight fluctuations while this awful voice screams Do better
I'm sick
I look at these tiny people, at Thinspiration, and pro ana websites targeted at young girls saying they're not enough until their ribs show
I'm sick
And nobody fucking believes me because I'm not a skeleton . Nobody knows that you can have an eating disorder at any weight. Nobody cares that I'm sick
