Forgotten Love

Chapter 18

I've lost everyone. I've lost you, I've lost Drew, I've lost Kate.. everyone..

I guess that's what I deserve.. I deserve to be alone forever. I don't deserve to be loved anymore.

I don't care about me anymore. I'm numb. I can't feel. Just like your touch, all of my emotions are gone.

You've made me so low now.. are you happy?

I hate you so much

and yet.. I still love you..

*

The loud ringing of my alarm clock woke me from my much needed sleep. I let out a groan and smacked the alarm clock, trying to find the button.

Once I found it was slowly sat up in my bed.

I didn't even see the point of getting up anymore. I was so exhausted both physically and emotionally.

I was completely shattered. I thought someone truly loved me.. but all they did was break my heart.

I didn't have anyone to talk to anymore. What's the point of even going to school?

But I still managed to get out of my warm bed and drag myself over to my closet. I let out a heavy sigh as I searched through my clothes, trying to find a decent outfit that way maybe I'd look less.. dead..

I was losing so much sleep. I probably looked like a walking zombie. It was horrible.

I walked over to my bathroom and brushed my teeth before quickly brushing my hair and leaving it down for the day.

Before I knew it I was off. I was completely dreading school. I didn't want to see him.

I'm so scared. I'm so scared that the moment I look at him I'm going to have a complete breakdown. I can't do it..

I had so many thoughts running through my head as I neared my school. The loud chatter getting even louder.

It was official. I really was alone.

I walked into school and went to my locker, trying to push through all the other students. I lazily tried to unlock my locker which caused me to not be able to open it.

I felt like crying because I couldn't open my locker.

This is ridiculous, Addie..

You're acting like you're on your period.

But I guess this is just another effect from my heart being broken. I'm so emotional right now..

I slowly tried to unlock my locker and it finally successfully opened. I let out a sigh of relief before grabbing my books and making my way to class.

Michael sits right behind me..

I already felt a breakdown coming on and I wasn't going to let that happen.

I stared at my feet and tried to push past everyone. I didn't want to even look at him when I walked in.

I kept my gaze on my feet as I finally entered the classroom. I knew he was there. I knew he was watching me as I entered and sat down in my seat, but I couldn't even look at him.

"Alright, lets get started." The teacher spoke as soon as the bell rang.

"Turn your textbooks to page 251."

I opened my textbook and went to the page that was told.

Although, I felt like I couldn't focus with Michael behind me.

"Addie.." I heard a whisper from behind me.

I think my heart just broke a little more.

"Addie.."

I couldn't do it. I tried to block him out but it wasn't working. My heart stung so badly.

There's no worse feeling then a broken heart.

My eyes started to well up with tears as I tried my hardest to kept myself together. Hearing his voice made everything so much worse than it already is..

I felt like I was about to have a breakdown.

I stood up quickly and ran out of the classroom before anyone could say anything at all. I ran to the girls bathroom.

I pushed the doors opened and ran into one of the stalls. I sat down and put my head in my hands as I let all my pain and guilt.

This crying has been happening way too often.

I still love him. I still love someone who I can never have..

How did I even let this happen? If I never fell for him then this would've never happened in the first place.

I ruined my friendship with Drew and Michael doesn't even love me.

What's wrong with me?

Why do I always do everything wrong? Why do I have to keep doing this?

I'm so sick of it. I can't believe I lost Drew just for someone who never loved me in the first place..

How can I even still love him? Why can't my heart just let him go?

I guess it's not that simple.

I guess this is what happens when someone you love breaks your heart.

I was trying to calm myself down but it never worked. I wish I could stop crying and just be okay. But it's not that easy.

My hands were soaked with my tears but I was finally running out. I started to feel as if I should be crying and my chest hurt so badly.. but I couldn't. Because even though I still felt the pain and it hurt.. I had run out of tears. And now it was just raw pain.

He broke my heart.

But even still, I whispered,

"I love you."

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I have some surprises for you guys soon! I will be updating "My Brother's Best Friend" soon & when I finish this sequel I will be doing another book as well!

I'm so sorry for the delay on this!

How have you guys been?💕