ghostly | sanggyun, yongguk (jbj)

[vii] ambivalent

yongguk scrambled around with his keys and burst into the apartment, flicking the lights on. "hyung? hyung, you here?!"

"here," a small voice called out, yongguk's heart calming down as he saw sanggyun in the kitchen, smiling softly.

"oh, thank god," he sighed, throwing his bag onto the couch and shuffling over to him. "are you alright?"

"why are you sleeping in class?" sanggyun joked gently, frowning as yongguk tried to hug him, instead finding his hands going straight through the boy.

"sorry, i..." the younger boy stood back, tilting his head and staring at his beautiful hyung. "i just, i got so tired and... i guess i won't be attending my next few seminars."

"hey, no," sanggyun frowned, pretending to kiss his forehead. "don't do that. don't put me before your education, alright? it's fine, i'm fine with it."

yongguk hated it, because he knew that after heights, sanggyun's next biggest fear was the dark. nevertheless, he nodded, looking at the boy's hand longingly.

"it's hard to be together," he mumbled, "when i can't even touch you."

"make me angry," sanggyun grinned, yongguk biting his lip and shaking his head with a laugh. "no."

"do it, i want to feel you," sanggyun mumbled, the sentence coming out more serious than it had before.

yongguk looked at him, a craving unleashing in his body. he, too, suddenly wanted to feel sanggyun's hands, his arms, his thighs, him. it was a craving stronger than usual.

"i-i don't know what to say, though," yongguk mumbled hopelessly, the older boy beckoning him closer. "come on, i know you want to say lots of things to me. lots of mean things."

"you're short?" yongguk tried, sanggyun rolling his eyes.

"you say that as if you didn't remind me every day when i was alive. now come, say something else."

yongguk thought, before blushing and looking down. "there's something... i never told you before because i thought it'd cause unnecessary fights..."

"perfect, tell me," sanggyun grinned. yongguk's face grew redder.

"y-you know your friend, park sehyuk," yongguk drawled, looking down at his feet. "w-when i was in high school, he was a graduate that came to visit the school for an annual ceremony. i met him there first."

sanggyun frowned, chuckling. "you think i'd get mad at you for knowing my friend before me-"

"we had sex in the teacher's lounge after school."

sanggyun suddenly paused, yongguk's wince not relaxing. "b-but it was nothing! nothing, really... he really probably didn't remember me when you re-introduced us-"

"why didn't you tell me earlier?" he muttered angrily, looking up at yongguk through hooded eyes. "what part of that did you feel was unnecessary to speak of?"

yongguk looked down, before widening his eyes as he felt sanggyun's thigh against his hip. "h-hyung, i can feel-"

"stop, answer me," he muttered, the younger boy looking down in shame.

"it was nothing... really..." yongguk mumbled, looking up. "i love y-"

"well how would it be nothing if you still remembered his name, and his face, and what his relation was to you?!" sanggyun outbursted, shaking his head. "wow, you're right. i'm really, really angry right now. right, fucking, now."

"i promise, we were nothing," yongguk begged gently, his breath getting caught in his throat as he reached forward and held his hand. he was glad sanggyun didn't pull away.

"hyung," yongguk whispered, and sanggyun's fire bubbled away for a moment.

he held yongguk's small hands, his grip gradually getting tighter the more he felt him. they both stared at eachother, yongguk being the first to reach forward and brush his hand over the older boy's cheek.

"s-sanggyun hyung..."

"fuck it. get on my lap."

yongguk didn't even have time to react before sanggyun hurriedly grabbed the boy's waist and tugged him closer, their lips meeting hungrily.