Bad Boy's Angel; Shawn Mendes

5.9

Shawn

i sit aimlessly as her skin starts to pale from her old deep tan, it's been almost weeks as she's still sleeps peacefully in the white sheets of her hospital bed. The others tell me she's will be find, only because she's finally breathing on her own. But i worry that when she wakes up, what if she doesn't remember, me, us, everything.

what do i do.

As i shuffle through her bag of clothes i pull out an old black book... one i knew she always wrote in when wanting to remember a memory, or something she needed to remember that she wouldn't. As i shuffled through the pages i come upon a memory i've long forgotten. One from when we first fell in love, when that feeling was fresh and new for the both of us.

flashback *since this is jenna book i written in her pov... but after we will jump back t shawn*
Soft rains falls from the sky as I sit in the living room with a cup of coffee. The soft and relaxing ticking of the wall clock is all I hear as I watch the rolling credits of Fifty Shades of Grey playing. I take small sips and enjoy the flavor of coffee in the afternoon. Shawn is due home in a few minutes. I don't know which Shawn I will get today. Quiet Shawn , anxious Shawn , or lovey dovey Shawn . I presume the enthusiastic Shawn will be showing as his album dropped last week and has been topping the charts. The living room door opens and closes as I hear shoes and keys being put away.
"Jenn, princess what are you doing" Shawn asks as he lays his head in my lap. I run fingers through his hair as he stares up at me. I smile down at him setting the cup on the side table. Before I pulled on to the floor with Shawn on top of me. He leaves kisses all over my face and slowly down my neck.
"Shawn ...." I let out a low moan as he pulls away. Shawn gives me a kiss on the lips and gets up.
"Tease" I let out as I try and regain my breath once again. I see him approach the kitchen and turns around to look at me.
"Are you coming jenn, also the others shouldn't be home tonight so we got this place all to ourselves" he winks as I get up and follow him in. He grabs me by the hips and sets me down on the countertop. A quick kiss to the lips as he departs from my hold. Pans are heard and the sizzling of the oil. I smell vegetables cooking along with some fajitas. Shawn grabs a bottle of beer and a white wine to accompany the meal he has prepared for us. I stare in amazement he sets up the plates with food piled up. Soon he starts chopping fruit into a bowl preparing fruit salad and adds yogurt. I grab his face once he is on my side and kiss lips. We smile into the kiss before I let him go back to finishing the meal.
"Hey jenn come and eat" Shawn says while washing is hands and pulling me off the counter. He wraps his arms around my waist kissing neck slightly leading me towards the table. I move to sit on the chair next to his before he pulls me down on his lap.
"Tonight your seat is right here on top of me" I giggle and kiss he cheek as he digs into the meal. We eat in silence with Shawn occasionally kissing my neck between each bite of food he takes. I smile before digging into the fruit and yogurt. I moan between each chew I take. Shawn chuckles from behind and takes the yogurt from my plate.
"Hey there's enough in the bowl for you Mendes " I tell him playfully shoving his spoon away from my bowl.
"Well I made it for you Jenn. Now I decide when I can and cant take it from you" He replies back kissing me on the lips. We finish eating and clean the table. I was drying the dishes as Shawn washing them. Water droplets are left on my arm as I see Shawn with a smirk on his face. I grab the sink hose and aim towards him with a smirk of my own.
"Your going to get iy now" Shawn yells as he chases me around the kitchen with a towel in his hands. I feel sharp smacks to my ass as Shawn hits me with the towel. I slip on water on the floor as I run away from Shawn . Shawn try's to grab on to me before I fall down causing him to fall along with me. We land on the floor side by side laughing.
"I love you, Jenn" Shawn says flicking water off in my face.
"I love you, Shawn " flicking him back with water left on the floor. He reaches an cups my face starting a passionate kiss. He gets up first and holds out his hand to pick me up. I start walking up stairs as Shawn turns off all the lights downstairs. Shawn starts a bath and adds bubbles 'to make it more romantic.' He leaves the room as I enter the bathroom coming in seconds later with my favorite wine and white chocolate strawberries. I smile as Shawn undresses me slowly kissing my exposing skin. Shawn gets in the tub first holding out his hand to let me in.
"Thank you, baby" mumbling against his lips as I settle in between his open legs. We talk about his day and mine while we sip wine and blow the bubbles in each other's face.
"I love you, and I will never get tired of saying to you. And each passing day I will show you how much I love you with small things like today. Each time more special then the last creating memories until we grow old together and talk about the good old days. Loving you is the best thing that has ever happened to me baby." Shawn says kissing my lips and holding me closer to him.
"I love you, Shawn . I don't think I can say anything as beautiful as your speech right now because you left me speechless. But to you I promise to shower you with more love each passing day. Appreciate your love like if it were the last day for us." I feel tears cascade down my eyes and look back at Shawn who's eyes are glossy. We stay in the bath a little while longer before retiring to our bed. Happiness is all I feel when I'm next to Shawn."

My eyes start to tear as they flickered back from her to the book, i slide the page only to revile another page full of memories, full of poams and music she had written, little notes about her day. and lastly the amount of calories she's ate in that day. But as i closed the book, a paper side out from the binding... opening i see a scripted letter, her hand writing, the paper does seem as old as the others, it's now dusted with brown it seemed new.

written on it only had a few words...

mother,
You taught me to cower at loud voices
And view others as causes of my fear
You taught me to curl myself deep in these corners
You taught me to be scared of my power
So my hurt released itself in tears
You made me bend and twist and break
All for something too far from love
You silenced me, shunned for every mistake I made
I still gave you every piece of me, until I sat, perished; numb
This is a shout out to you, for destroying my peace
For shattering my body, cracking like glass
This is a shout out to you, for helping me shed that skin
Of a battered, lifeless past
Thank you for making me feel like nothing
So I'd appreciate this shimmering self-worth
Thank you for helping me reach rock bottom
So I'd rise again, all of me put first
You say you love a man that was never my father more than you've ever loved me
If that's true, you wouldn't still be around
If he had every piece of you like I never did
You'd move forward, yet you still turn back
Move forward, eyes straight, there's nothing left for you with me
I gave you up the moment I slammed the door, and the moment i met the person i wanted to spend my LIFE WITH.
You're past that I shed, the skin I don't need
Shout out to you for leaving me on the floor
as if i wasn't your daughter.
i will find my real father, dead or alive. you best believe it.
goodbye mother.

I shake my head as a tear ran down my face.. if she were to die, she's die thinking no one wanted her, not me not anyone.