Dear Love

day 1

songs: New Recording 135 - LEO, Song For The Sleepless - Ollie MN

10:57 pm : 3-25-18

Dear Love, 

i'm sorry. i'm so sorry. i miss you so much. i've cried once since i've seen you. and i'll probably cry while writing this.

it was in the shower at my mum's house, of all places. i hate that i made the stupid decision to kick you out of my life because i want to talk to you about how I feel but then again i don't because you went on a date tonight and you've probably fucked her. 

you said you're sorry if you did. you can't be sorry for that.

I hate you. I fucking hate you. I don't think you actually understood how much that hurt and how angrier at you I became. how could you do that to me? how could you leave me like this. 

I said you leaving isn't worth giving everything up but I want to die. I want my life to be fucking over because of this. this is the worse pain ive felt in my life. I've loved you for so long.

I'm crying. of course I am. and I hate you because you've made me so completely vulnerable and I hate it. I hate letting people see my emotions and you've seen all of me. every part of me was yours and it feels as though you've crumbled me up and thrown me out.

my chest aches and god this hurts so much. please come back. please 

please I need you to come back 

11:09 pm