Dear Love

day 10

4-3-18 // 10:58 pm

Dear Love, 

its storming out tonight. you knew that I was afraid of the thunder and would often soothe me during thunder storms. 

it hurts still. its like the pain of us ending is always fresh, like ripping off the bandage and pouring bleach on the wound everyday. 

I hate this. I want to talk to you, to tell you how I feel but I cant give in to that. I cant let you know how weak I am because it was my decision to keep away from you, at least until I cant hate you anymore.

but I don't just hate you. I love you all the same and it hurts so much.

I wish somehow we'd bump into each other in person but that's unlikely as I don't really leave my room unless to go out on a bike ride to the park for a smoke or out to the coffee shop.

I wish you'd show up at my door step with an apology. id take you in immediately and let you know how much I love you and miss you.

this isn't a movie though. 

the rain outside is really loud and I just wish you would hold me and tell me that we're okay.

youre gone though. youre living your life and I sit in my room all day on my phone.

I wish you were here.

11:03 pm