Dear Love

day 5

3-29-18 // 8:32 pm

Dear Love,

reading helps a lot. i lose myself when im reading, i think i remember telling you this at some point in our relationship. i've always loved reading so im glad i brought a couple books home from school with me for spring break.

ive been reading all day,  a book i started yesterday morning finished this evening. it ended, happily with a kiss on the neck from the boy who was in love with the other boy; the main character. it was a pleasant book.

nothing really happened today. i spoke a bit to my online friends in that chat im in. my dad took my sister and i to mcdonalds and i read at a table while my father talked to our family counselor on the other side of the restaurant.

i also talked to lou about us, about me. he gave me some hope that all of this will be okay eventually. i also talked to my other friend about having a crush on carson, he agreed that i should text him but im much too afraid of rejection so another day, then.

besides, i cant move on like you can. its not fair that you could just fall out of love as if you just chose to do it and it happened. maybe you lied, you never loved me at all. not like i loved you.

i cant move on. i was always waiting for you. how long will i wait this time? i guess its my choice whether or not you come back into my life but that doesnt mean if i do, you'll love me again. you'd regard me as a problem, a bother. i hate you too much to try and even pretend to be your friend.

8:40 pm