Dear Love

day 23

4-16-18 // 9:22 am

Dear Love,

it's been 3 weeks now. 

so much has happened within the last couple days and I don't really have a proper excuse for not writing sooner. 

friday night, I saw Love, Simon with my best friend and it gave me so much confidence, inspiration, and hope, that i just knew i was going to come out this weekend - and I did.

I came out first, to my dad and then over all social media. you saw it. I was scared of you seeing it and I wish I knew what you think of it. 

I'm sorry that this is what has ended us. I'm so sorry that it took me so long to come to terms with myself and accept it. I'm so sorry for you.

I wish we could talk. I need to talk to you. I miss you so much. This morning, I fell asleep on the bus and dreamt about how we used to cuddle up to each other in the morning and I could fall asleep on your chest on the way to school. I could cry just thinking about it. 

I was so content with you, so happy and it makes me miserable knowing it'll never be like that again.

I know you forgive me but I can't forgive myself. I said I wouldn't blame myself but this really is at my fault and I'm so sorry, dear. 

I wish I could say all this to you.