secretly admiring ; park woojin

05-

took me so long but this hoe is back with another chapter :") here is a belated christmas , and new year present for yall ^^

" you did a great mess, come with me! " Mr Kwon angrily says with patience.

mee ??

" yes you " he answers my mind as he breathes in and out so heavily

i stood up from the bed and followed him .

he gave me a silent treatment as we walk through the halls of the hospital , leading to the emergency room .

now , im kinda scared about what i actually did .. like did i even do anything wrong ? im pretty sure i did a great job done with all my surgeries and check ups .

what could go wrong right ?

but the silent treatment from mr kwon just rushes blood around my body that i feel so awake and straightly stood up right now .

as we near the emergency room , i see camera flashes here and there like there was a press conference outside the emergency room .

i could talking of reporters trying to shout over each other to get news reported . the wires of their mics were every where on the floor .

as soon as i appear in their sight , they rushed to me with worried faces .

what the hell ?

am i suddenly famous ? like did i save jesus or mother theresa ? BLESSED

but yall know how reality really hits so hard that i can have a concussion ? that happened .

i almost fainted on what the reporter asked me . i grabbed mr kwon for support .

" is it true that you gave park woojin , a member of wanna one , aspirin instead of panadol ? " one of the reporters said and the others looked at me with all their eyelashes talking to me .

park woojin ? wanna one ? MY WOOJIN OPPA ?!

what the hell ?

aspirin as in aspirin that can cause internal bleeding in the stomach and other parts of the body if taken wrongly ?!

i was sweating . my palms were sweating . i couldnt think straight and all i could think about was the safety of my boy .

i got to my mind , pushed through the crowd of reporters and got my way in into the emergency room . i looked for a bed named to woojin and there i found him , lying down on the bed with many doctors specializing in many different departments around him .

i pushed through them and there i saw the face ive been wanting to see .

not on a hospital bed of course .

my heart broke so badly . he looked so pale and his eyes were shut so tightly . his body was so thin and all i could think about was that this was all my fault .

it was my fault . he took the wrong medicine .

why am i such a trouble ?

" w-what happened ? " i croaked as i sound like i was almost crying .

" his stomach expanded due to the high level of heat aspirin got onto this body . this caused big hole in his stomach and we need to operate on him as soon as possible . we need to stitch it up as soon as we open his stomach . if this operation fails , he might die . this operation is really risky and we need all the help of at least one doctor from each department to be present during the operation in case of any linking problems that might subside as we operate on this patient . " by the time the head of directors finished , i was crying my eyes out . i was on the floor , smacking the floor .

if i wasn't a failure , if i wasnt a doctor , he wouldnt be here now . this was my fault .

i could even lose the love of my life . i was pretty okay having him far from me but i think heaven is too far that i cant even look at him .

i counted all my mistakes and theres only one standing out from the list of the things ive done . all the rest of my crimes dont come close , to the look of you when you were on the hospital bed .

what have i actually done for him that actually made him happy ? i always made him suffer . i probably forced him to like me , to be with me . and now , i made him to be in the hospital . what more can i do ? i probably am a badluck to him .

" doctor ! the surgery has been scheduled in an hour . a doctor of each department must be present throughout the surgery , may i know all the doctor names that will be operating ? " a nurse came and interrupt my bawling moment and i .

however , i am not performing a surgery on woojin . its too much to do . i cant look at him on the face and do a surgery if ever needed . and i am not stable enough to do it , looking at my condition right now . its too hard to concentrate .

i have other surgeries too . i will have to pass them on to another doctor or delay them for a day . i need to sort out my thinking . and all i can do now is to worry for woojin's surgery .

" ms lee ? are you going for the surgery ? " mr kwon asks to confirm .

" no , mr kwon . i will skip this . i cant perform on him . let ms choong do it . " i firmly said , not going to change my mind .

" okay then , we will now make our way to the operation room to prepare . we will have a talk later , ms lee . " mr kwon says and everything moved .

the doctors moved to the operation room . woojin was wheeled to the OR . but i stood there , like a mannequin , looking as they wheel him away from me .

im such a failure .

i gathered all the courage left in me and left the emergency room . as soon as the door automatically opened . i was faced with a crowd of reporter trying to shout their questions out to me .

" did you really give aspirin to wanna one's park woojin ? "

" did you intend to kill him ? "

" what is his conditions now ? "

" are you taking responsibility for this ? "

" what do you want from him ? "

were harsh things i heard from the crowd .

thinking of all negative things just teared me . i was now running to the staff lounge .

i couldnt take it anymore . i am the reason for all of this and i cant just stand here and wait for the results .

i need to take responsibility too .

i took out my handphone and dialed a number .

the call got through after a few rings and i heard the hello .

" mr kwon , i will do the surgery and i will take full responsibility of what happened . "

hehe such a wonderful present for yall , this time theres no target . i will update whenever i want . hope yall like ittt omg so good to write again .

my schedule is still hectic anyways . nothing different huhu