secretly admiring ; park woojin

15-

i flip open the letter to read a very threatening message

don't ever touch or go near woojin again or else you will see more of this. i will even spread your address. i warned you.

wow, what? i literally don't have the slightest idea on who did this. i'm assuming it's a fan but i don't think woojin's fans are this terrible. somehow, i feel like it could be a sasaeng who did this.

many thoughts come across my mind as i try to think of possible people who did this.

i really hate to think that i was the reason why woojin was hospitalized because it hurts me to know someone like me who love him so much did that to him. but i can't help but think like that since the real culprit has yet to be identified and i should be fully responsible since i need to be constantly checking if the medicines are labelled properly. i guess i failed the basic job of a doctor.

and right now, i'm just reminded of everything once again. it's really hard to forget something when it's literally in front of your eyes. you can't avoid it no matter how much you want to.

and you have to tell yourself to just go through it because you will see a rainbow soon after. i hope it's like that. i really want all these to end already because it's suffocating me. it's really haunting me in every part of my life and i just can't continue like that.

i wipe a tear that slid down my cheeks and stood up. i hook the rubbish into my fingers and continued my way to the public trash. the public trash was all the way at the end of the hallway so i took the opportunity to think long and hard about my actions.

i've done it so many times yet i'm still not settled. there's so many things i've missed the last time i reflect on my actions. everytime, there's something new.

maybe the world is just telling me a message that i shouldn't be with woojin anymore. the more i push myself into him, the more he gets hurt, the more i feel remorseful about everything.

maybe they're telling me that i had woojin in our high school years already. it's time to let go and move on. it's time to make him go on with his life right now. it's time to unwrap myself around him. it's time to let him go.

there's so many thoughts that they're everywhere. i barely have the energy to sort them out. it just passes through my head like how teachers always say, "everything i say go into one ear, out the other ear"

many thoughts go in and out of my head in the 2 minute walk that i could barely keep count of it. i literally look like a character walking dead as i walk pass the hallways.

my eyes looks exhausted and my legs looks like it's about to give way if i take 10 more steps. but it doesn't and i successfully made it back home. i took the letter from the floor and brought it in. i walked into the kitchen and got a piece of wet cloth,

i went out and wiped the egg on the floor and door. it would be very disgusting and unfriendly to the neighbours. egg also smells when it's left in the open for a while so it's not very nice.

whoever did this knows my address and that literally gave my spine some chills. how did someone even know my address when all i did was stay at home?

i go back to the kitchen to clean the cloth and proceed to the door to clean the egg again. i pick up the egg shells and throw it in my newly replaced rubbish bin.

i shut the door behind me and i then cleaned my bed. it's really nice to see a house with minimal things, and neatly arranged things. it's just very relaxing to see a nice house like that.

i grabbed my laptop and started my job search once again. i go through so much job listings today that my head actually started hurting.

i check my email too to see nothing in reply. no job acceptance at all. after all, who would wanna employ me?

my day ended just like that with a sleep after. i've been wanting to live this simple life.

it would be better if i wake in the arms of someone i love. we would cook breakfast together and clean the house together. we'd then open the aircon and watch some movies as we cuddle. then we would just fall asleep in each other's arms.

but looks like i don't have such romance in my life.

[ the chapter's kinda dry these days so maybe should i do some woojin pov to change the atmostphere and get more insight on what woojin is truly going through? ]

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