secretly admiring ; park woojin

14-

i wake up in the morning from a really terrible headache. i ran to the toilet and gave the toilet bowl some puke. i'm really bad at handling drinks with alcohol. i flushed the toilet and washed my mouth. i really felt like shit.

i went out to pop some extra strong panadol into my mouth to stomach better. i also took out ingredients for hangover soup because that's what i totally need right now before i make a second trip to the toilet.

i literally had nothing to do today. i only had to eat, bathe and send in some resume in case i get lucky and get accepted. neither am i needed outside of the house nor am i needed by the world so i'm just staying in.

in other words, i'm completely lifeless right now. for now, all i could think about was to sleep to make time pass fast. and that is what i'm probably gonna do today since i don't know what else to do in this house except to sleep.

i have gotten so used to being in the hospital, doing operations. i only come home after a few days and i only sleep here. i also bathe. but i come most of the time to get new clothes for my next few stays in the hospital. even though i don't perform surgeries, i have to supervise since i'm head of the department.

so right now, i don't know how to really spend time in this house. i think god gave me the chance to make myself feel at home and make me experience living in my own house.

i get up from the sofa and turned the stove off. i take off the lid and the smell of the hangover soup goes into my nostrils. it smells so good and it can cure my hangover, such a powerful soup. i pour the liquid into a bowl and i scooped a bowl of rice from the rice cooker.

i also don't really experience eating meals alone because i get my breaks with my colleagues most of the time. literally a lot has changed and it really fells extra weird and awkward that i'm gonna be doing things way differently now.

the fact that i have no face to show up at the hospital just shows that i'm going to do everything on my own right now. i literally have no one. i'm really remorseful about what happened that i can't even face anyone.

so in conclusion of everything i just said, first of all, i'm gonna be very lonely from now on. secondly and lastly, i will be sleeping the entire day after i send in some resume to local clinics around the vicinity.

i put the rice into the bowl of soup and i take in the warm soup. it's really nice in my stomach. i feel so warm and comforted with it. i really like these type of food. soup base with rice. more soup, lesser rice is the best. i can't explain how much i love it. even more when the soup base is just thin. i don't really fancy thick soup base because it just doesn't get along with rice.

i've been thinking a lot so maybe i will clear my brain until i actually finish my meal right now. too much is on my head and i might just turn real emotional if i continue.

i stand up after finishing meal and washed the dishes. i have decided to not let anything remove my motivation to continue so i'm washing the dishes.

does that even make sense?

seeing the dishes undone makes me really stress. small things like this makes my head go crazy, how about big ones.

i put on my gloves and started working on those dishes. it wasn't much because all i had to wash were the pots, equipments i used to cook and my plate.

i proceeded to clean the mess i made yesterday night. there was still some chicken left but it was left in the open since last night so it turned cold. and i hate cold food that has been out in the open. how can i know what went on the food. i'm fine as long as the food has protection.

poor chicken, i only took a few before i passed out. i took the beer cans into my hands and throw them jnto the rubbish. the rubbish was already full so i tied it up. i slipped on my slippers and opened my door to see a sight.

an egg was cracked into my door and a letter was on the floor. i opened it and i see the most threatening words i've ever seen.

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