LOVE MYSELF - LOVE YOURSELF

11.

The thing is
I am afraid of beauty
You may not understand what I mean,
But I'm literally afraid of everything I consider incredibly beautiful
I'm afraid of having to see my idols in person one day
I'm afraid of every person I respect on social media
I'm afraid of those pretty girls you always see in school
I'm literally afraid of every handsome person that exist

Maybe,
I tried becoming what the most consider as beautiful,
Because a part of me actually thought that I wouldn't be afraid of beauty if I was beautiful
Maybe I did it all for fear
Fear.
It's sad how many horrible things could stand for that word
But the most triggering thing is actually
That my fears are too many to know their count
And I keep realizing that there are more of them
But I don't think it's truly a problem,
Because having fears does not make you weak
Weakness is when you keep re-thinking your fears and stay frozen in front of them instead of defeating them
If there's something I've learned about weakness and strength,
Is that true strength is when you keep trying no matter how many times you've already failed
True strength is when you keep going even if you are afraid that you won't be capable of wining
True strength is defined by your own expectations
That means that strength depends on your own capacities and on your own wishes
That means that it actually doesn't matter if other consider you strong
What matters is if you personally think that you tried your best,
If you think that you can be proud of what you've done
So be strong at your own way

EDIT/UPDATE (Idk):
I have been reading the comic "Big Jo" in Webtoon by Julia Arostegi and I actually had to laugh when I realized that one of the characters said: "You have to stop thinking people are evil just because they're good looking" I guess it's true for me lmao.🙈😂❤