LOVE MYSELF - LOVE YOURSELF

20.

I often say the words "mental illnesses" but I actually think, you actually can't refer to them as "illnesses" or "diseases" as some might say
Everywhere I looked after informations about them it is said that they can not be cured and that they last forever
But it's probably nothing like that
Because I think they aren't "mental illnesses"
They are ways to think
Because
Why do they say they are illnesses if they can't be cured?
If they can't be cured than they are probably not illnesses
They are probably more like mental states
Some may have been traumatized by something
Others ended up like they are now just by the occasion or fate, you can call it what you want I'm just trying to refer to it as something
Ahhhh...
It's kind of difficult to write about this but it's what's on my mind so Idk
I'm just concerned by the fact that everyone's tells me it can't be cured
I mean if you tell someone who has bad grades that he was born without intelligence and that it's impossible for him to get good grades,
He's probably never gonna get good grades either
The same way it could be probably with persons with depressions or eating disorders
If they live knowing that they have something that can't be cured and they are already counting with having some breakdowns
Then they are probably gonna do so if they don't believe in themselves and live positively
Idk that's kinda what I've felt
I kept giving the fault to my condition instead of doing something against it and that's probably also the reason I was stuck for so long in the same place
I've been already in so many phases that I kind of have learned through coincidence that I should not expect things to go wrong without reason
I hope we all get where we want even if it's not as fast or perfectly as some may expect themselves to do

PS: I am feeling kind of drunk lately, maybe it's because the small amount of sleep I'm getting currently and how much time I spend on my phone and on my father's computer (it's because I installed a drawing software there and he has two big screens👌🏻) I am feeling quite messy and I it's like one of those moments where I'm asking myself if I should wish school to finally start again or if I prefer rotting at home. I kind of force myself to leave the house and go to the library if I am not able to go for a walk, because I feel like I am being productive if I do that idk😂 I just sit there draw, read, sometimes I try to study, but since there's Wi-Fi there I often use it to read comics online or to do some other pointless stuff. I wish there would be someone who could go there with me T_T But since most of my friends can't I feel like a loner😂❤ I guess sometimes I just don't want to be alone, but I mostly enjoy my loneliness lmao❤😂