He Never Does || n.h

Chapter 25: The Ugliest Color of Betrayal

Chapter 25:

How could he? What is he thinking? Did I mean nothing to him this entire time?

A million thoughts race through my head as he places the necklace around her neck.

All I can feel is a burning and overwhelming sense of betrayal. I never thought he would stoop that low. I mean, getting a new girlfriend is one thing. Fine, you've moved on, be happy. But this feels like he's trying to recreate our relationship with someone new. Like he's replacing me. This hurts so much more than him simply letting go.

It shows me that all he wanted was the perfect relationship. He didn't necessarily want it with me though. He didn't care. He doesn't care. I was always expendable.

I stand silently from my chair at the patio table and storm back inside. I'm too furious to try and hide my hurt.

I'm seeing red for anger green for jealousy and the two emotions mix to make the ugliest color of betrayal I've ever see. Without thinking, I unclasp the clover hidden under my blouse for the first time in over a year. My chest feels bare without it, it feels wrong. I clutch the meaningless piece of metal in my hand and march up to Niall's room. I swing open the door and place the necklace in his wastebasket on top of some crumpled song lyrics. I hope he finds it, and I hope it hurts.

I slam the door behind me and walk back downstairs. I'm feeling rebellious.

"You know what Nina, you can have him. He didn't love me and he most likely doesn't love you either. He's only using you and manipulating you to be his idea of perfect. But you won't succeed. Because nobody can live up to his unrealistic expectation. He tried so hard to fix me. At the time I thought it was because he wanted me to be happy. No, no, he only wanted himself to be happy. Don't be a fool like I was. I almost feel sorry for you. But then again you're a cold hearted bitch. You two deserve each other." I furiously type this entire monologue to Nina on my phone.

Do I press send? No, but that's beside the point.

And maybe I'm overreacting. This could just be something that means nothing to everyone except me. I'm probably overreacting. But if that's true then why does this hurt so much?

I slide my phone into my pocket and march out the front door. I shuffle quickly down the steps and take extra long strides across the driveway. I see a car pull in just as I turn onto the street.

"Rosie!" Ben calls and jumps out of the car. He jogs up beside me.

"Hello." I huff in an annoyed tone.

"Look, I know it's only been a day and you probably need time to think-" He begins, thinking my attitude is because of him.

"No. No more wasting time." I cut him off. To me it means I'm done wasting time on Niall and I'm ready to move on. To Ben it means I'm ready to move on, too. Just...with him again.

"Really, you mean it?" He asks, thinking I want to rekindle our relationship.

I pause and look into his eyes. They may not be kind, but at least they don't lie to me. Ben is a monster in the most obvious way. Niall hides behind his mask of perfection. At least with Ben I know what to expect.

"Yes. I mean it." I say. It feels like an act of defiance and I'm pretty sure that's the only reason I agree.

Fuck you Niall. If you didn't want me with Ben you shouldn't have made me feel like shit while I was alone. You drove me back to him. Deal with it. I say this in my head and smile. Maybe it's too far to blame him, but I'm just too betrayed to blame anyone else.

"I'm so happy to hear that. But so you know, this time will be different. I realize now why you left. And I think I'm fixing the problem. We should take things slower this time, I know we can work it out." He grabs my hands in his.