He Never Does || n.h

Chapter 2: The Letter

(Still Rosie's flashback)

Chapter 2:

I reach a shaky hand down to the paper and begin to examine it.

The first thing I notice, it's in my handwriting.

The second thing I notice, I have never seen this paper before.

It appears to be a letter. I begin to feel almost scared as I look at it. The only logical explanation is that someone wrote this attempting to make it appear as though I did. A forgery in simpler terms.

But why? And why is it in my apartment?

And how did it get here?

My eyes begin to read the neatly printed words. I'm astonished at how accurate the font is. It looks exactly like my writing.

The further down I get, and the more words that are etched into my mind, the stronger the panic in my chest grows. This letter chills me to the bone because there's so much truth in the words. Somebody knows all of this information about me. How? I have no idea.

Without realizing it, tears begin to leave my eyes. The letter and the paranoia combine behind my eye lids and suddenly I'm crying.

This is no everyday letter. This is a suicide note.

My suicide note.

But I didn't write it.

"To whom it may, or may not, concern,

I do realize that I have been nothing but a disappointment my entire life. I have tried so hard to be better than I really am, I swear. Nothing seems to make the hurt go away though. There is only so much a fake smile can hide. And I'm tired of hiding. I'm tired of this miserable life I'm living, it's not much of a life at all. I've accepted the fact that everyone would be better off without me...and that's okay.

Mother, I love you and I know now you only tried to do what was best for me. I'm sorry I didn't see it sooner.

Father, I love you and thank you for what you have given me in life. You are such a good person, honestly.

Brooklyn, I love you more than life and I pray and beg that you never stop smiling. Be happy, always.

Ashland, I love you so much and I fear I may have hurt you most of all, especially because you were the one always there for me.

Niall, I love you...I really do...and I bitterly regret what I did and said before. Please don't believe a word of it.

Harry, I love you and I pray you don't think too low of me, though I know I deserve all of it.

Zayn, I love you and thank you for being my dependent shoulder to cry on. I know I've completely abused your trust, and I'm sorry.

Liam, I love you and I know you are too lovely and kind of a person to understand what I did, but please try to.

Louis, I love you and I hope you know that some days you were the only reason I smiled, please hold onto your happiness.

Navy, I love you and Rebecca and I hope you know that you distracted me from the pain, so for that I thank you both.

Caroline, I love you and I long to be in your welcoming embrace again. Please don't be disappointed in me.

Kyle, I feel no sympathy for you except for the fact that I falsely accused you for Caroline's death. I realize I drove you to do what you did to me, but that doesn't make it right.

I apologize for all the things I did wrong. Please forgive me and please let go of me, I want you to. And don't think for even a minute that I haven't appreciated everything you've done for me. I do. Please don't feel guilty, any of you, or think that you could've done something to save me. I assure you, you couldn't have. I was the only one that could have saved myself. And I couldn't do it. I do love you all, but it's just not enough any more. I'd die for any of you, but I won't live for you.