He Never Does || n.h

Chapter 18: Tuesdays With Frederick

Chapter 18:

Helpless. I lay helpless on the damp forest floor.

I hear a rustling in the woods in front of me and my eyes open fully to look. Fear blazes in my heart. It's Rick, and he's come to finish me off. It has to be.

The leaves crunch as Rick walks towards me and I hear a peculiar sound. It's almost a...sob? I have no clue why Rick is crying. He doesn't feel remorse about anything.

He comes into view and my heart tenses in fear and anticipation.

But I feel no fear, only confusion.

Confusion because the man in front of me is not Rick. It's Niall.

He walks over to our tree and kneels down. I don't think he can see me. Obviously not because if he could he would do something. I try to call out for him but my voice is lost somewhere else.

And then suddenly I can move. I stand up and look down at my body. It's no longer bruised or battered. It's...glowing. I'm glowing. Then my eyes move to the spot where I used to lay and I'm shocked to see my body still a bloody pulp on the ground. I must be dead. I must be an angel.

I glide over to the beautiful blonde boy with tears on his cheeks and kneel in front of him. I place my hand on top of his, only he can't feel it. He can't even see me.

"This can't be happening. I'm dreaming, Rosie. I'm dreaming. I'm going to wake up tomorrow and you are still going to be okay. Even though you left me...even though you don't love me, you are still okay." He says and then screams in frustration.

The comment about me not loving him makes me upset.

"Niall I do love you." I say and stroke his cheek. He doesn't look up. Oh right, I'm invisible to him. I hate the familiarity of this feeling.

"Agh! But that still wouldn't be right would it! You should never have left us Rosie! But even before that I should never have let you go in the first place! What was I thinking? How could I let you walk away from us? I wish you were still in New York, still happy there, but even more than that I wish you were still with me, still happy here."

He stands up and touches the bottle. I walk beside him and try to grasp his hand, but it is to no avail.

"That day I saw you in New York was the first day I had felt anything for a long time. I should have kissed you, but I knew you didn't want me to. It was clear you were everything you wanted to be in New York. So why did this happen? Could I have done anything? I should have tried. I should have fucking tried."

"And I know this doesn't change anything, but I had to come here. I promised you I would. I'm never gonna break this promise to you. Sometimes, I find myself day dreaming about us. Today could have been so different. I could have woken up next to you and then we would have done god knows what but it would have been perfect. After we would have come here and just enjoyed each others company. I can't imagine how it'd feel just to hold you again....But I'll never be able to."

I wrap my nonexistent arms around him.

"This is how it would feel to hold me. I'm here Ni, always." I whisper.

I am the luckiest girl in the world to be able to say he loved me. I don't know if he still does, but it warms me to the core to know he at least cares.

I would try to get his attention but I know it's hopeless. I have no way to do that.

My eyes drift away from Niall. I stare at the bottle for a minute. It is forever hanging and forever marking this territory as ours. I try to spin it carefully between my fingers. It doesn't budge because I'm not really here I guess, but the thought is there.