— Drink the Damn Pickle Juice —
Waking up was an irritating experience. A light was filtering in through a window in Edd's apartment, hitting me in my good eye, causing me to hiss and slither under my blankets. I looked down at the floor, checking if Tom was still on it. Nope, he must have left when I was asleep.
I sat up and yawned, stretching my arm out. I looked over and noticed Edd was eating cereal at the table, time to communicate like a normal fucking human-
"Morning Edd-" he jumped, I must have startled him. I began to apologize violently, not wanting to be kicked out for scaring the shit out of him. He took in a breath before speaking,
"frick, I forgot you were here. Morning Tord..Tom is pissed off so if he comes in here don't say anything- I don't even know if he remembers that you're here.. he was-"
"Drunk as fuck? I know.." my voice trailed. It was awkward between us all, I had to get him to trust me. I had to get them to trust me. I listened to the front door open, followed by swears. Tom's here. He didn't notice me as he instinctively walked to the kitchen to talk to Edd. He sat down with him and put his face on the table, sighing.
"Morning Tom-"
"God I'm so fucking hungover... I don't even remember what the fuck I did last night-"
"Language. Well, I don't know what to do, take some painkillers or somethin-"
"Drink pickle juice." I must have forgotten how prominent my voice was. I covered my mouth- not that it would really help. Tom instantly turned, making eye contact. He stood up, the look of disdain on his face was priceless. He looked over at Edd,
"WHAT THE FUCK EDD? WHAT IS THIS SHIT??" He slammed his hands down on the table, making me jump.
"Please calm down, I'll explain when you chill out, okay?" He held his hands up, trying to keep him from leaving the table and beating the shit out of me. If he could even touch me, that is.
"Fine, I'll fucking calm down. Why the hell he here, Edd? Why are you bringing murderers into your house? Psychopaths, that manipulate and lie to you? You can't trust him Edd- you fucking know that. Get this Fucking commie out of here-"
"I know I can't trust him, he's only here for a week Tom-"
"Better fucking get him out of here now, have you lost your damn mind??"
"If you don't like it then he can stay longer, in fact, the more you complain the longer he stays." He looked over, addressing me. "Now you have two weeks."
"EDD!"
"Three. Three weeks. Want to add more, Tom? I'm sure he would appreciate it."
"Thanks, Tom!" I said in a bitchy pitched voice that a girl with the name Jessica would probably have. (( ;) ))Edd quickly shushed me, which was fair.
"Shut the fuck Up commie!"
"Tord, do you think that should count as a complaint?" Edd looked at me again, to which I violently nodded.
"Four weeks it is then! Your lucky day Tord!"
"Fuck you guys, he kills you it's your damn fault. I'm gonna go drink-" he started to walk away, but Edd grabbed his hoodie and pulled him back.
"like hell, you're gonna go drink, you're staying here. Tord, watch him I need to go to the store. If Matt wakes up, feed him. Okay? Can I trust you with that?" He grabbed a coat and began walking to the door, stopping and turning to see a response.
"Yes, sir-"
"EDD." Tom quickly turned around, facing him.
"How many more weeks do you want him here, Tom?
"...fine."
"Good. Please, don't kill each other, or Matt- please don't kill Matt-"
"He understands Edd," Tom said, annoyed and pissed.
"...I'm putting trust into you, don't fuck it up." He shut the door, leaving me and Tom alone. I scooted over on the couch, in case he wanted to sit.
"...well I'm going to my apartment to drink, I'm not staying in here with you." I quickly jumped up and blocked the door with my body.
"Hell no-"
"Out of my fuckin way commie."
"No."
"No? No!? Since when did you care!? Get out of my fucking way!" He attempted to shove me out of the way, failing and only managing to push himself into an awkward position against me. He grunted and turned around, walking over and sitting down on the couch. I relaxed against the door and slid down. It was quiet. I need to think of something to say, something to catch him off guard.
"You know...I've always kind of liked you- in a weird childish way..." I lied, he stayed quiet but gave me a weird look. I knew it was weird as hell, but maybe I could try to be flirty? "And I always thought you were really cute, too." I almost threw up in my own mouth saying that. I moved to fast, and my voice sounded so unnatural. Idiot. I'm an idiot.
"Drop the act Tord, I'm not stupid, or gay."
"Your web history says otherwise-"
"I don't watch gay porn you fucking weirdo.."
"You watch tree porn-"
"Stop."
"Shut up and let me speak tree hugger."
"What did you say about pickle juice earlier?" Now he's trying to change the subject, and honestly, I wanted to get off the gay topic as soon as possible. Now he thinks I'm gay, but I'm not. Damn, I should have said no-homo.
"That it could help with your hangover."
"...huh, how?"
"I don't know I guess it just works?"
"How long as it been since you ate?" He asked. The question caught me a bit off guard, it was random and came out of nowhere. The sad thing was, I couldn't remember the last time I ate, at all- Wait- yeah I stole from his house didn't I- but I only took a little bit of bread. I guess I hadn't eaten or drank anything in a while.
"I don't remember..."
"You look pale-"
"Aww, you care about me" saying dumb shit like this was the key, acting stupidly and helplessly in Love was the key. I'm good at that,
"Shut the fuck up."
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I hope you Fuckers like the music because that's my favorite TØP song:
An isle of flightless birds we find out worth and us giving birth and stuff-
I'll start putting music at the beginnings of my chapters because why not ;)
Oof
