How She Feels

Round and Round

She laid on her back

Staring aimlessly at the plain white ceiling

Watching the fan endlessly spinning

Round and round

Like her brain

And wishes her thoughts were

As plain as these walls

Thinking over the demons

that kept her up all night

With their crying

So loud that she couldn't begin to close her eyes

Ideas like a forbidden train

Never ending even when tracks

Came to a b r o k e n end

Until it finally c r a s h e d

B O O M

Into the cold hard truth

A catastrophe in itself

And it stings her innocent, longing ears

But, oh, how it needed to be heard

And not just have

It w h i s p e r e d to her

Soft like a child

But SCREAMED

LOUD and CLEAR

Because she knew she could take

The brutality of it

Still it felt like a baseball to the face

Smashing the hope that lit her features

Words you expect

But never knowing how much

It could truly hurt

The paleness of her skin

Showing the purity that he had darkened over

Wounds, would fade until only the ache of them remained

She compared him to the innocence of hurt

Each word spewing from his lovely lips

knocking her over

like a toy, a ragdoll of sorts

And he somehow did it with the ease

Pushing her over the e d g e of sanity

A cliff that she wished she could just

Fling herself off of

Rejoicing on the way

D

O

W

N

A cape of darkness following behind her

A smile permanent on that face of hers

He tenderly grabbed her seams

Begging her to let them fray

And accept that her insides may show

Being free for all to catch a glimpse at

Or even s t a r e in awe

But as she

F

A

L

L

S

Singing her song the whole way down

Beautiful yet haunting as she grasps

He will be her end

She wonders if somehow her

Tiny heart could matter

And still with all these thoughts

The fan keeps

S

P

I

N

N

I

N

G

For as she hit the ground

Her thoughts of him ended

With the shaking of her arms

And feeling of coldness sweeping her into reality

She was alone

And she--beginning to be in love

With the familiarity of it--

Never changing

Unlike most people

She just s t a r e s

Long and HARD

Knowing --just like the fan--

She must keep

Going round and round

In her dance of life

Without him guiding her every step