Wanting a life change! Book One

EDWARD HELPS BELLA WITH HER NEW BATTLE WITHIN HER

Bpov

As I woke up, I was still in Edward's arms and I did not want to move at all. I remember everything he had said. I knew everything Randy had told years ago at camp was true. Wait Randy, who changed him, and how did he avoid human blood all that time without help. Then I wonder why he was around James, Victoria, and Laurent, who knows who else.

My side started to hurt so it among other spots on my body brought me out of my thoughts. I was going to move but remember I didn't have nothing on, because they cut the rest of my stuff off. So I was blushing.

"Good morning, beautiful. How are you feeling?" Edward asked me. "How you know I was awake?" I asked him. "I could see your cheeks turn rosy. Plus your heartbeat changes when you're about to wake.He told me. I knew they turned more redder when he said that.

"To be honest I'm really sore, but I don't want to move at all." I told him. "I can get Carlisle so you can get something for pain for you." My eyes got big when he said that. "NO!" Did I just yell that. I buried my head in his chest complete embarrassment.

Because I did not want him to move at all. I felt safe being right here in his arms. I didn't want to take the chance of him seeing me plus I don't like being alone now either the thought of it scares me now.

Edward picked the blanket up alittle. But I tighten it around me so he couldn't see me. "What was that about Bella?" I kinda curled up in a ball.

"Bella, what's wrong." I felt him slide up. I just realized I was so scared of being alone, and Edward leaving me, I felt strange and all these emotions just hit me out of nowhere.

I started to cry, when I remember what happened yesterday. The image's flooded my head and I wanted it to all go away.

I felt Edward's wrap me with the blanket and pulled me up to him gently. He wrapped his arms around me.

"Bella, why are you crying?" I was so scared. "I'm scared! But that's not the only thing." He took one of his hands and gently lifted my face so he could see my eyes. His eyes were still green and I wonder if that was his natural eye color when he was human. He gently wipe the tears away, but I could not stop crying.

"Scared of what Bella?" I looked deeply into his eyes. "Of losing you, losing my only safe place, I'm scared of being alone, I know it's stupid. But the minute you got up my head flood with images of what happen. " He looked at me with concern and comforting eyes.

"You're not going to lose me. I can't blame you for being scared of being alone, it's not stupid at all." He wrapped both arms back around me.

"I feel full of these different emotions and I don't know what to feel first. One I'm so scared to tell you because of all you proved to me but I can't help how it makes me feel."

I felt him take a deep breath. "Then please explain in your words how you feel Bella, because you know how I feel, and nothing will ever change how I feel about you."

I was trying to figure out how to put it in put in words what I mean. "Edward remember when we talked last night and I felt different. Well this is way different totally different, When James first started touching even though my cloth were on it felt all wrong, I have never in my lifetime been touched like that. I wished he stopped. But he didn't. I got up and moved away. But he pinned me up against the wall. Yeah I was scared but not to the point yet that would put me to this. I still knew you were coming for me and I thought if I could just hold him off until you got here I be safe. I made it to the front door. But it didn't help me at all."

I could feel Edward tense up a little. I took a deep breath. I paused just long enough for him to relax a little. "When James blocked the front door I tried and turned but he already had a hold of me and threw me across the room. Before I could move he had already had me pinned down with one hand. I yelled at him to get off of me. I tried so hard to get away from him but I could not move, I couldn't get away. I felt his hand slide up my shirt, in my head I'm screaming for someone to help me and this is not to be happening to me. But I was screaming out loud to him to not to not touch me and to get off of me. He put his hand on my breast and I felt like it was so wrong that this is not right that this made me feel disgusting still does."

I tighten the blanket up around me and wrapped my arms around my legs. I could feel Edward trying rub his hand on my arm and kissed the top of my head.

"He was on top of me his face was so close to mine, I could feel him breathing on me. I turned my head and he said He wanted to see. My mind is going is no, this can't be happening to me. I knew he had a hold of my shirt on my side but didn't realize he had a hold of my wound though. So when he ripped it off I felt skin go with my shirt and it really hurt like hell, so when I let out a blood curdling scream, I felt blood on my stomach and look and he was licking it off but I was screaming and in so much pain I really did not know what was going on. I started to feel his hand on my breast again. So I closed my eyes. But I felt so horrified and scared. I felt dirty and disgusting, still do. Then I didn't feel him there I open my eyes and heard a loud thud, I didn't even look around really I just was focused on finding someone to hide before he came back and finish what he started. Once I got into the closest I felt around for everything I could to cover me and hide me. I kept saying please don't find please no, someone please help me."

I started to shake because even though I am only talking about it I feel like I'm reliving it all over again in my head I can't stop shaking.

"When the closest door open, I stayed as still and quiet as I could. But when everything got pulled off I was going to fight I wasn't going to let James finish what he started, so I screamed and was kicking and hitting I didn't care. It did not dawn on me it was you. Then when you said never let go I still wasn't sure it was you. that's why I turned slow. Then when James came at us I was horrified at what I saw you laying there not moving at all. "I screamed no Edward. Them James came at me. I thought you were died. and it was all my fault yet again that someone died because of me. Then James had a hold of me. When he grabbed my side I saw his face. He had this god awful grin on his face like he was going to enjoy this. I looked down and everything felt like slow motion, his hand went into my body even though it wasn't deep he ripped my skin and then he pulled out. It made my skin crawl that he was inside my body like that, I wanted to scrub every inch of me, I think I still do. Then he bit down on my wrist I knew I was going to die. With you already gone I wanted it to be over. I gave up I just let him do it without fighting him. I wanted to just die. Then out of nowhere you flew into him. I fell to the ground. I was in dazed and running on fear and I think in shock to." I was to scared to move from my spot.

Epov

I could not believe what Bella just told me. More then last night. "I can't blame her for being scared, or not want to be alone.

I can feel her shaking and she not stopping now, she not cold it's pure fear. I lay my head on the top of Bella's head and try to comfort her. Then she looked up at me.

"Edward I need a human moment please help into the bathroom." When I got her in there she still was wrapped with the blanket, she told me she would call me back in when she was done but not to go far I told her ok.

I sat outside the door waiting for Bella to get done. I was thinking about what she told me even what she said last night, and what I felt when I saw what was happening. I know what I felt and to know what she feeling is so awful. I started to hear Bella crying.

So I knocked and ask her if she is all right. She doesn't answer. I try again and still nothing. But I still hear her crying. Then I heard the shower going. I start to get a little nervous because I remember what she had told me.

I knock one more time, still nothing. So I slowly open the door and told Bella I was coming in. I could tell the water was hot because it was already steaming in there. I saw the blanket that Bella was wrapped with on the floor. I walked over to the shower and there she was sitting on the shower floor with her knees up to her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs and her head down and she's crying and the water making her skin red.

"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry." I turned off the water and grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around her. I wrapped my arms around her. It took her a few minutes to realize I was there but when she did she turned and leaned sideways and kind of laid against me. I finally picked her took her back to the bed. She was not going to let me go which was fine because if I could I hold her in my arms like this forever if I could, minus the emotional part though. She finally fell back asleep. Which was good because she needed her rest but bad because I have wet clothes on.

The only thing I can do for he now is be here for her. No matter how hard it is for her how scared she is I will try my best not to let her down. I will be here for every step of the way.

I do not own all the characters in my story Stephenie Meyers does

I own the rest of the characters and the story.