Wanting a life change! Book One

EDWARD DECIDES TO LEAVE SO HE CAN THINK.

epov

I went back to the house after Bella fell asleep. I went up to my room and shut my door and turned on the music. "Edward can we talk?' It was Esme my mother, sort of speak. "Yes, come on in."

"Edward you been acting strange for a few days now. I'm worried about you. So please tell me what is bothering you!"

"Well there's this new girl, well chief Swan's daughter." She started to think and then said.

"You mean Isabella Swan." I just looked at Esme amazed she knew who I was talking about.

"Well I can't read her mind and well her blood is much sweeter then any other persons is to me. But there's other times I just want to be by her side. I'm so confused and frustrated."

Esme looked deep in thought. Then she turned to me. "This is what I want you to do Edward and if you still feel the same way. Then you can decide where to go just to think and figure out what you want to do for the good of and to keep Isabella safe." She took my hand into hers.

"I want you to observe her just one day like you been doing. Except this time watch her body language, watch her expressions of her eyes and face. Also take time and put yourself in her shoes for once and just listen to what she saying and watch how she acting."

I looked at Esme and tell her. "I will try that and thank you for your advice." I gave her a hugged and told her I was going to go for a walk.

As I was walking I was trying to figure out why I was so frustrated and confused about what I was feeling. I finally just went to the spot Bella always sits at. Doing what Esme asked of me, Put myself in her shoes.

I sat where Bella sits and lean my head back and close my eyes and figure out what makes this place so special to her. Is it anything like my special place. I was there for a very long time not realizing how long I had been there I heard someone coming so I got up and hid.

I seen Bella running and she was crying for some reason."WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME DAMN IT?" She screamed out. then she slid down the tree.

How I just wanted to go to her and just hold her in my arms. What has her so upset. She doesn't even talk to her parents. Her cell phones rings. I hear Charlie on the other in asking Bella to meet him at the café at 7 because he going to be working late.

I wonder if it's got anything to do with the murders in the next county over and the town south of us. I wish I knew what she was thinking about. What I would give to hear her thoughts right now. She gets up and walks towards her house.

I had followed her to the café but had stay hidden. As I watched her I watched her eyes and how it looked like I could see right into her soul but there was also something else. It's almost like I can feel how she feels.

Charlie finally shows up and it was about the murders that he has been working late. They finally went back to the house.

I waited a little bit before I climbed the tree and sat in the spot where i'm hidden. I see her in the rocker looking up at the stars crying.

How I just wanted to hold her. But I do not know if I can control the monster within me. But now I am just more frustrated and confused then I was before. I waited for Bella to go to sleep then I left to go home.

On my way home I started hearing Alice. "Edward are you leaving for awhile?"

"Yes, Alice. But please do me a favor while I'm gone will you keep an eye on Bella for me please?"

"Yes, Edward. I will. I know you will make the right choice. I have seen it. But you also have to make the choose yourself. The right path for you."

"I understand Alice. Even though you can be annoying sometimes. But you are a good sister." I walked into the house and went to Carlisle office to talk to him. "Carlisle I need to get away and think."

"Esme filled me in on what was going on and I think if you decided this and this is what you need to do then I support your decision on this. But may I make a suggest where to go. Alaska to the Denlia's."

I nod my head in agreement, and then went to my room and packed my stuff for my trip. I went and said my goodbyes for now and told them I will be back. I hopped in the car and was on my way.

I did not know what I would decide to do. But I knew I needed to figure out what I was feeling inside of me.

I do not own all my characters in my story Stephanie Meyers does.

I own the rest of the characters and story.