When You're Ready; Shawn Mendes

4. Crazy

"A change in plans."

•••

Shawn

The rush of performing in front of tens of thousands of fans was coursing through my body. I loved this feeling, it was like nothing you've ever experienced. The way you could feel the beat of the song pass through you, the way the crowd singing back gives you chills, and just being mesmerized by the abundance of lights.

This, the feeling and the sensations are what I lived for. The festival runs were amazing but this? Nothing beats performing in front of the people who got you to where you are.

I walked off the stage after an amazing first stop. I must've looked red, sweaty, and tired but I couldn't have felt more alive. I took off my guitar and was helped with the wires and what not. I seen Andrew standing there and he wasn't showing much emotion.

It was odd, he's been acting weird since he told me Avelyn went back to the hotel. I felt bad that she got sick before the show, I knew how much she wanted to be at the first show. Nonetheless I couldn't wait to tell her all about it as long as she was still up and feeling better.

"Hey that was an amazing first show! Now I want to go back to the hotel and shower and tell Avelyn all about it." I told him as we walked out back and towards the tour bus.

"Shawn about that." Andrew said in a stressed tone.

I looked at him waiting for him to continue but he didn't. At least not until we were safely on the bus.

"Avelyn did not want me to tell you till after your show. She wanted to make sure you didn't stress and you gave it your all." He continued.

I started to feel really nervous, "Andrew can you just spit it out? You're making me more nervous."

"She's left back to Arizona, a family emergency. Avelyn left right after soundcheck, she asked me not to tell you until the concert was over. She also informed me that you should be expecting her call when she lands." Andrew said.

That's when my high from tonight vanished. I no longer felt the rush, the amazement or excitement. Cause the one person I wanted to share it with was on a plane a couple hundred miles away already. And I had no idea till now, I was going back to an empty hotel room.

I nodded noticing I didn't say anything after Andrew told me where she was. The ride back to the hotel was a silent one, or so it was to me. I blocked out all the chatter and noises, I went from being stuck in a thrilling feeling to an empty trance.

I didn't even notice when we arrived at the hotel, Andrew shook me out of my daydream. I slowly followed everyone inside and back up to our floor where our room were. I dreaded each step I took, knowing the closer I got to my room the closer reality was. I was going to find my room empty besides my things being in there.

I'm not sure why I was taking this all to the heart. I've toured without her, I've spent weeks in LA while she was in Toronto. But it wasn't by choice, I guess this wasn't either but this isn't how I imagined today going.

The elevator chimed notifying us that we were on our designated floor. The elevator emptied till I was the only one left. I looked down the long hallway and let out a deep breath before following the path. I got to my room door and stood there for a couple minutes.

I shook my head, thinking I was acting completely ridiculous. She is fine and on a flight home. She is going to be fine and safe and wanted me to have the best time. I was told the reality the minute I got on the tour bus, why is it still taking me this long to register it?

I unlocked my door and opened it to find a dark room. I walked in as I turned on the light. The door shut behind me as I sat down on the bed and kicked off my shoes. I looked around and only seen my belongings. But one thing did catch my attention, it was a paper lying on my suitcase.

I got up slowly and walked to pick it up. I picked up the sheet of paper and noticed her handwriting almost immediately. Just seen it and feeling the imprint of the scribbles on the back made me smile. I'm acting as if she broke up with me, it's crazy wasn't it? To feel this way when nothings actually happened?

Dear Guitar star,
I know you have a lot of questions. Like where are you? Why'd you leave? Why didn't you tell me? Did you really take my green sweatshirt? So I'll answer them knowing I'll be on a long flight and it will drive you nuts not knowing. 1. I went back home and by Home I mean Arizona. 2. My dad is in the hospital, my mom sounded scared and to be honest so am I. 3. I didn't tell you because it was your first show!! I wanted you to kill it! 4. Yes I did so don't freak out when you can't find it :)

I wish I was able to experience the tour kickoff show with you. I want to hear all about it the moment we find time. I realize how hard this is gonna be due to time zones. Hopefully we make it work and if not I'll just look at the videos fans took! I'm sure you did amazing! I have to go now my flight leaves soon and I want Matt to get back to you as soon as possible. Just know I'll be supporting you all the way from Arizona and love you so so much. It pains me not to be there and experience this with you. Hope to see you soon!
- Ave xoxo

I smiled knowing she left this and I could practically hear her voice while I read it. This somewhat put me at ease knowing she didn't really leave without saying bye. But I still felt sad because I couldn't go with her, I had a whole tour to do and I couldn't drop it. Too many people would be let down and we have so much planned. To move things around would just be more stressful and time consuming.

I folded the paper and put it in my wallet before getting up and taking a shower. I washed the sweat off and got out feeling fresh. I got dressed in some sweats and a T-shirt before laying down in bed. I was about to sleep but before I could I wanted to text her and let her know I knew.

To Winter bug❤️;
I got your letter and completely understand. Take all the time you need and spend it with your family. I hope things get better and know no matter what time it is here I'll pick up if you call. Love you Avelyn❤️ and just remember you have a piece of my heart and you made it all your own so when we are apart you'll never be alone❤️

I then locked my phone and put it to charge before turning off the light. I did feel extremely tired from all the events that took place today.

So sleep won.

Authors Note//
I hate being busy and not being able to update it's the worst. So enjoy this probably bad and rushed and not corrected update.
Let me know what you think
Until Next Time Peace Lovelies✌🏼💚