When You're Ready; Shawn Mendes

7. Explaining

"You have some serious explaining to do."

•••

Shawn

A couple days after Avelyn left back to the states it was weird not to see her. I mean the whole idea was for her to be on the whole tour. But things happen and she had to leave which was understandable. The thing that wasn't, was the fact that I always do the wrong thing.

I have a track record for screwing things up when it comes to Avelyn. I mean last tour was a very great example of that. This time I think I actually blew it.

It started off with us not being able to talk. It was like we would just miss each other by a couple hours. I forgot how annoying that was, I also remembered how it's worked out before. It never ends good.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when my phone started buzzing. I made sure to look at who it was and seeing it made sigh in relief.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Are you out of your mind? Really Shawn?" I heard the all too familiar voice ask.

"Well hello to you too Camila, I take it you've spoken to Avelyn?" I asked as I laid down on the hotel bed.

I heard a door close on her end, "You bet your ass I did. Care to explain why you ignored her for a MONTH and a couple times before that? You're lucky I didn't tell her you didn't actually 'lose your phone' and yes I did air quotes even if you can't see me."

"Camila I really don't want to talk about this right now. I have a headache." I explained as I shut my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Shawn we both know that answer was bullshit. Why were you avoiding her?" Camila asked.

I opened my eyes and looked up at the ceiling, "I don't know, we will just add it to the list of fuck ups I've done."

"Shawn you've done this to her before. Did you ever stop and think that you shouldn't do it again?" I knew Camila was a great friend the minute I met her.

"I don't know, I wasn't thinking but again no surprise." I admitted.

I heard her sigh, "Shawn what's wrong? Please tell me I'm trying to understand both sides."

"Well if you have to take a side take hers." I tell her.

"Shawn!" She said sounding upset.

I sat up and looked at myself in the mirror. I haven't slept in the last two days, luckily I didn't have a show for another few days. I haven't slept because I stay up thinking about what Avelyn said. She really cries herself to sleep because I was an asshole.

"I made a mistake, I allowed my fear to get the best of me. I didn't realize what I was doing till it was done." I confessed.

"And What was that? Ignoring her?" She asked.

I closed my eyes, "Yeah."

"Why though? Like what good was coming from it?" Camila asked sounding sad.

I looked down at the ground, "I started to think about my first tour. And how I was in love with a girl and how touring ruined that. We fell apart and things didn't end well, and as soon as Avelyn and I couldn't find time to talk I knew it was only the start."

"Shawn she's not her! You pushed Avelyn not the other way. Then you felt the need to lie to her and proceed to push? How did you expect her to react?" She continued to ask questions.

"I don't know Camila, I wasn't thinking. I let my fear get the best of me and I ruined this. I cause her to cry herself to sleep, do you realize I haven't slept because the thought of doing that to her?" I asked feeling completely tired.

"Shawn you can't blame her for not being understanding. You lied, you're pushing and all while her father is in the hospital? Her dad is sick and god knows how that feels, she feels helpless and crying out of fear of losing her dad. Then her wonderful boyfriend whom she loves so much is ignoring her and telling her to stop wanting to know how he's doing? Do you really not see the problem?" She ranted on.

I stood up and started pacing, "I realize how bad it is. But I waited so long to finally be with her and we haven't even been together long and she just means too much. I know if I don't end it then I'm the one who's going to get hurt all over again. I thought this would be easy, to date again while touring but it's not."

"Shawn she is not your ex, she is this sweet and understanding girl. She just loves you and wants the comfort of knowing you're doing well. If you told her your fear I'm sure she will not be upset but reassure you instead." Camila said, she was always that one friend I could go to for advice.

"I always screw things up mila, I don't know how to control how I feel when it comes to her. I don't know how to act, I've done this to her before. She doesn't want to talk to me, god knows if she'll forgive me either." I tell her.

"You'll never know unless you try, I'll talk to her and help you out. But because I know both sides, you're in the wrong Shawn. But I love you both too much to see you both heartbroken. I'll talk to you soon." She concludes.

I shut my eyes before laying back down, "I know, thank you. And if things don't turn out well just make sure you're there for her too. I'll talk to you later."

I then hung up and wiped my hands down my face. I screwed up bad, I really hate this. I think there was one way to stop all my thoughts and stop treating Avelyn like this. I opened my eyes and picked up my phone to text a message.

Once I was done I pressed send.

Authors Note//
Shawn is always messing up
Let me know what you think
Until Next Time Peace Lovelies✌🏼💚