When You're Ready; Shawn Mendes

5. Home

"Never thought I'd be back under such circumstances."

•••

Avelyn

The flight from London to Arizona had to be one of the most stressful flights I've ever had. I could not fall asleep, which I'm gonna regret later when I land. I'm probably going to sleep for the next three days. I couldn't on the plane because not only was it uncomfortable but I had too many things on my mind.

My dad and how he was going to look when I see him. My heart aches at just the thought, it is a big fear of mine to lose my parents. Though it is such a normal thing to happen, we all grow old and die at some point. My parents have only one of their parents alive which must be a blessing.

But I couldn't imagine losing either of them. Just the thought causes a knot to form in my throat as tears fill my eyes. I can't even imagine my life without them, I don't even know how I'd react or feel if they died. It was one of my worst fears and knowing my dad was really ill made me feel sick.

Then there was Shawn, I couldn't believe I left like the way I did. The minute the plane took off I regretted leaving the way I did. I wished I could press rewind and do it differently, tell him to his face. But then I reminded myself why I left the way I did, I had his fans in mind. I wanted them to have all his focus and attention on them.

I told Shawn that I'd text or call when I landed and I was keeping my word. Which just made me feel anxious, would he pick up? Maybe not because of the time zone differences. But if he did I still wouldn't know what I would say to him. I didn't want him to worry or feel the need to rush by my side, I would not allow him to cancel his tour and disappoint his fans.

Most already hate me just for being in his life, and for dating him. I try so hard to show them that I care about them just as much as Shawn does. I put them before myself and I just couldn't live with myself if he let them down.

"Hun our flight has landed." The elderly woman who sat next to me on the plane told me.

I looked out the window and did not even realize we landed. My head wasn't in reality yet, I had too many things going everywhere. I felt like I could throw up at any minute I was so scared to get off. But I couldn't stay here forever so I gathered my things and got off the plane with everyone else.

I followed everyone out and all the way to baggage claim. I swear I probably looked like a crazy person. I have not slept or ate and I've cried because of the thought of my dad being ill. So no doubt my eyes were puffy, so I looked like a huge mess.

I grabbed my two luggage's from the baggage claim before looking at my phone. My mom was calling which made the knot form back in my throat. I'm not entirely sure why either, it just did. I guess it's because my mom and I have always been close and when tough times come around or I need help she's the one I turn to.

My mom was my best friend and I trusted anything she told me. Well not anything but if she told me everything would be okay I believed her. When I have anxiety attacks I feel the need to talk to my mom so she can help me out. So with my dad being ill and how scared she sounded when she called it broke my heart. How could I be strong and know everything will be okay when my mom didn't think so?

I answered the phone, "Hi mom."

"Hey love are you here? I'm waiting." She said.

"Yeah I'm making my way over right now I'll see you soon." I told her.

"Okay...oh I see you!" She said sounding excited.

I hung up the phone and rushed towards her as I dragged my luggage behind me. Once I got to her I let go of my bags and hugged her extremely tight. When she wrapped her arms around me that's when a sob came out. It was real, I was home and in my moms arms for a reason I wish wasn't why I was here.

"Oh don't cry sweetheart, everything will be okay." She said and there it was, the reassurance I needed to stop crying.

I pulled away and looked at her, "How are you so sure?"

She wiped away my tears and gave me a smile, "I'm not but we've got to have faith right? Now no crying, you look tired we should go home."

I nodded, "Yeah I didn't get to sleep at all."

My mom helped me with my bags as we walked out of the airport. We managed to get to her car, we put my bags in the back before getting in the front. We didn't talk but sat in silent while the music from the radio played. My eyes started to feel heavy as I watched the other cars pass by. I finally allowed my eyes to shut and overcome me but it wasn't until I heard his voice start to sing from the radio.

I woke up by my mom shaking me awake. I opened my eyes and seen the house ahead of us as the car came to a stop. I sat up and stretched, I probably slept for an hour which wasn't enough for I was still tired. We got out of the car and grabbed my bags before we entered the house.

"Your old room is where you'll be staying. Your siblings will be getting off of school soon. I'll be making dinner, so get some rest okay?" My mom told me as she set my bags down on the floor of my old room.

I nodded and gave her a smile, "Thank you momma."

She hugged me before walking out of the room and closing the French doors behind her. I looked around and seen everything looking exactly how it was the last time I was here. I'm surprised my parents didn't turn my room into something else if I'm being honest.

I sighed as I sat on my bed and kicked off my shoes. I started to feel sleepy again but then I remembered. I pulled out my phone and seen I had a text from Shawn, it was from a couple hours ago.

From Shawn❤️;
I got your letter and completely understand. Take all the time you need and spend it with your family. I hope things get better and know no matter what time it is here I'll pick up if you call. Love you Avelyn❤️ and just remember you have a piece of my heart and you made it all your own so when we are apart you'll never be alone❤️

My heart filled with bliss but also ache, even after leaving a letter and nothing more he was more than understanding. I really didn't deserve him or his love, I felt so guilty the whole plane ride and here he was so sweet. I mean what did I really expect? It's Shawn.

I decided to call him, hopefully he was still up. I dialed his number and heard it ring and ring.

"Hey!" His voice said.

"Hi you-"

"You just missed me! Leave me a message and I'll try to get back at you as soon as I can!" His voicemail said. I waited for the beep before leaving him a message.

"Hey you! I totally forgot about timezones and realized you couldn't pick up. But I wanted to let you know I landed safely and I'm home with my mom. I miss you already and hopefully when we're both awake I'll tell you everything. I also know you killed your first show so congrats! I knew you'd kill it, well I got to get some rest so I'll talk to you later. Love you, bye." I said quickly before his voicemail cut me off.

I ended it and set my phone to charge before getting into comfortable clothes. Once I was done, I laid on my bed and it didn't take long for sleep to take control.

Authors Note//
Sorry I've been busy with school!
So let me know what you think
Until Next Time Peace Lovelies✌🏼💚