Diagnosis // Yoonmin ff

Chapter Eight

"Suga!!!" I shouted the loudest I could as the mentioned boy came into my view. Hearing my voice, he turned around to face me, a smile forming on his lips once our eyes made contact. It didn't take me more than two seconds to reach him with the speed I was running at the moment. I threw myself at him, arms wrapping around his waist as I inhaled his sweet scent. Luckily, he returned my hug with the same amount of passion. 

"Hey, Jiminnie. How are you?" he asked, his two dark orbs staring down at me, the smile never leaving those lips of his. 

"Awesome. And you?" I replied, moving back a little from the hug to get a better view of Suga's face.

"I'm fine now," he said, his hand stroking my hair playfully. At those words, I felt as if something got stuck in my throat. Did he mean...? No! No way! You're imaging things Jimin.

"Where are we going today?" I asked.

"To that place of ours. I wanna sit on that rock again."

"Okay. Let's go then."

It was a long walk from the place we were at now till the end of the park. It was mostly filled with silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable. I enjoyed being in his company the most. No matter if we spoke with each other or just kept silent. Every moment was heavenly for me. During our walk towards the cliff, our hands would brush against each other from time to time making me want to reach out and take his hand in mine. "But again, I don't know should I be the one to make the first step. What if he doesn't like it and just slaps my hand away? Jimin! Stop being a coward! It is now or never." I mentally scolded myself. I took this opportunity to take his hand in mine, locking our finger together. 

I didn't look at him. He didn't look over at me. I guess both of us feeling a little flushed, not wanting to meet the others' gaze. But from the corner of my eye, I was able to see a small smile forming on his face. He squeezed my hand back a bit which meant he wanted to hold mine as well which was a relief to know. His hand was cold, very cold, but at the same time, very gentle. My heart was already beating fast enough from small brushes from earlier and now with us holding hand, I am honestly worried it may burst any moment. 

We finally came to that park, even tho it was more of a forest than a park. We walked over to the river and sat on a nearby rock. We come here quite often. If I think better, it's more like every time we feel like talking a walk, we always come to this place. Once we sat down, I let go of his hand. The coldness of the air that's now hitting my hand makes me a bit disappointed but I try to shrug it off. I looked around the place trying to find something to start the conversation with Suga as one yellow flower caught my attention. It was the same color as Suga's hair. Yeah, he dyed his hair again.

"You like it?" he asks, noticing the flower I was looking at. I nodded and he bent down to pick it up. After doing it, he gave it to me and I gladly accepted it.

"Thank you," while taking it from his hand, my gaze fell upon his arm. I noticed some marks on it but they weren't that visible because of the hoodie he was wearing. 

"Yoongi..." I called him in an almost whisper-like tone. He looked at me surprised at the name I used.

"Don't call me li-..."

"Your arm..."

He took a look at his arm then hurriedly pulled down his sleeves even further, now covering even if hands with it. I put the flower aside before taking his arm and pulling up the sleeves again.

"Why?!"  I ask, staring at him.

"It's not important. Okay!" he pulled the sleeve down again.

"Suga... Is it because of your nightmares?"

He looked at me then nodded before looking back at the ground. I moved a bit closer to him, now sitting in front of him on my knees so our faces could be on the same level. "Don't do this. It's bad to hurt yourself like this!"I said, looking at his dark orbs which were reflecting my image perfectly. 

"You don't understand it. This helps. I hurt myself to cause the pain which will distract me from the pain I was already feeling..." he explained, pain evident in his eyes. He was being honest with me, and I hated that. I hate it that I cannot help him overcome that pain. I only kept silent, feeling totally helpless. 

After a min of silence, an idea popped up in my head."But what if I told you to hurt me instead of yourself?" I confessed, eyes not leaving his even for a moment. Now he was silent.

"Why do I mean to you this much?"  finally, he asked. 

"Because... Because you're special. I don't want you to hurt yourself. Please..." I begged, my eyes slowly starting to water as images of him hurting himself start appearing in my head. 

He started at me for quite some time before speaking up again. "I can't Jimin..."

"Then hit me. Hit me, throw me against a wall, stab me with a knife but just don't hurt yourself! What if you cut your veins?! What would I do without you?! Did you ever thought about me, maybe?" I yelled at him this time, tears rolling down my cheeks as I wasn't able to suppress them anymore. 

He looked me deeply in the eyes before saying something I couldn't even dream of. "I do, Jimin. I really do. I think about you all the time. During the day or night. You're always on my mind..."