There's A Hope Waiting In The Dark

Chapter 13

"Hello Mr.Henderson." I said, as I shook the young mans hand.

"Hi, how are you?" He said shaking my hand.

"I'm great and you?"

"I'm decent thank you!" He spoke as he took a seat on the couch.

"So you are obviously are aware of Jessica's anxiety and how bad it is. It makes expressing herself very hard, and she worries about little things too much and it makes her brain explode, causing her attacks."

"Yes ma'am I am."

"Can you tell me what she does when she blacks out? What she looks like before she has a "regular" attack and what she looks like before a "black out" attack?"

"Yeah, before a "regular" attack she doesn't eat two to three days before and she seems down until something little cracks her and she just shakes and cries uncontrollably for a little bit and then she's just sad because she had another one. I usually just hold her as close to me as possible and rub her back until it's over but she shakes a lot, which I assumed was normal."

"Yes it is especially for her attacks, it's normal for her to shake a lot. Does she shake within those two to three days before? I know she doesn't eat and if she does it's very little."

"I actually don't know if she shakes before, I mean like she doesn't eat so I would assume she would because she hasn't eaten. Should I look out for the next one?" Logan said sounding disappointed in himself for not knowing the answer.

"If you could look out before the next attack that would be nice. It's okay if you don't know, it's actually kinda good if you don't notice because that means she hasn't moved up to the next stage of anxiety. What about the "black out" attacks?"

"Those scare me. A lot. She kinda follows the same pre-symptoms. Except it starts like five days before so she doesn't eat much for two to three days and then she just stops eating in all; and when the attack hits she kinda shakes like she has a chill. Then she stares off into space, and it's like she's in her own world and she goes unresponsive and starts shaking and crying just like she's having a seizure. It scares me because I think she's going to go into a coma or something and then she blacks out and I think I'm going to lose her." He said dropping his head low.

"Okay well I'm going to tell you some of our options to help calm them or end them. Plus a little inside scoop about her."

"O-okay." He said looking up hopeful.

"She has these anxiety attacks because she has always been an incredibly, and I mean incredibly independent. She's never needed someone. Jessica's been broke by so many people, a lot of family members. People she is supposed to have full trust in. And that has broken her, a lot. It's what originally started her trust issues. Through many other things it's made it worse. So when she couldn't get out of her abusive relationship, she basically turned into a shell of who she used to be. She gave up. She refused to trust anyone else. She even doubted me at times. When she found you and realized she could trust you she gave you all her trust she had to offer. Every single ounce of it. She's been so dependent on you, she's had to be. Jessica's starting to realize she can get back up and be independent again. She loves but hates you having to do everything, she's always been able to support herself. She says that you want to move to NYC?"

"Oh... umm.. yeah."

"When her and he who shall never be named again moved in together she paid most of the bills and he paid the water bill. That's it. She's always had a backup plan due to her OCD. With you right now she has no back up plan, because she trusts you whole heartedly. What's facing through her mind right now is " What if I move to the other side of the country and something goes wrong?"... " What if Logan decides he doesn't like me anymore and kicks me out? I'll have no where to go." And many other questions and doubts running through her mind. This will be the first time on her own not having anything or anyone to fall back on, I need you to realize if she does move with you it's taking so much power for her to do. And if she says she can't do it, that just because her brain needs to slowly do it. Jess' anxiety has to slow down and accept the fact you're not leaving her. Which will take time. Probably a lot of time."

"What can I do to help? I'll do anything to insure her safety and mental health is okay."

"Well I want to send her to a neurologist to see what parts of her brain are doing during those black out moments. Then I want to just slightly increase her anxiety meds. I need you to take surprises on her easy, don't make her wait too long. Maybe hint around what it is so she can assure herself she's fine. I'm sure you already do but make sure she's okay. Ask her frequently how she's feeling, how anxious she's feeling especially. Oh and call me if anything changes drastically with me upping her anxiety meds, okay?" I told him.

"Yes ma'am I can do all of that. I'm good at nagging her about how she feels." He said and let out a laugh.

"That's good. I can't ever hear that enough from a patients significant other." I said offering a laugh as well. I picked up the phone and asked Julia to send Jessica back to me.

" Welcome back Jess! We have a good solid plan for you!" I said giving her a hug before she sat next to Logan.

"Okay, What is it?" She asked seeming a little frightened at my enthusiasm. Logan immediately grabbed her hand, and pulled it to his lips giving it a kiss.

"I'm going to refer you to a neurologist to see what's going on pre and post black out attacks for starters. It's crucial to make sure nothing is getting hurt by them. I don't have any reason to believe something is wrong, but these sound extreme and dangerous so I want to make sure nothings going wrong. I'm going to up your medications by two milligrams and see if that helps any. I'm your part, I need you to tell Logan if anything feels different or wrong, or if anything gives you discomfort. Okay?"

"Yeah that sounds good I guess." She said and offered me a smile.

"Well alright! I'm going to go get that new script for you off the printer and then you guys can be on your way!" I said as I slimmed around in my chair to up her meds and print out a new slip.

"Thank you so much Dr.Smith." She said as I walked out of the room.

•••••

"Come here. I love you." I said pulling Jessica into my arms before I opened the car door for her after her therapy session.

"I love you too." Her small voice said.

"Do you want something to eat?"

"Not really I really just wanna go home and sleep everything off."

"Can we do that after I hit a drive thru for some food?"

"Lol of course, you can do whatever you want."

"Well if you really wanted to go home I would just go home." I said as I kissed her closing the car door.

••••

It wasn't long after we got back to the house before Jessica was asleep in my arms. There's nothing I love more than her being asleep in my arms. Snuggled up to me and warm. It didn't take much longer til I was asleep myself. Nothing better than a nap with your favorite girl.

A/N: Why hellllllooooo everybody! I have a couple announcements then I'll leave y'all alone.

1. WE HAVE 200 READS!!! I feel I should be that excited but I am!

2. Please go check out Fixing Myself if you haven't already!

3. I'm sorry for not updating in forever. I have EOC's coming up in two weeks and I might not update that week, due to ya know.. studying.. but I'm going to try to pre-write some stuff so all I have to do is revise and upload or just upload..

Anywayssss I hope everyone is doing well!❤️