There's A Hope Waiting In The Dark

Chatper 19

" Ahh, there's my sweet girl!" Ms.Smith said as I walked into the office. I had to wait till 6 pm to actually come to see her she had to have an emergency appointment made then an emergency appointment at the mental hospital.

"Yeah..." I said rubbing my arms.

"What's wrong?" She asked looking confused.

"Nothing I'm just not looking forward to someone else knowing me like you do. Can't you just move to NYC too?" I asked sitting down in the big comfy chair.

" I can't I'm sorry Jessica. If I could I totally would though! But I have a friend I went to college with that is just like me that's in NYC that I want you to try." She said trying to sound hopeful.

"Yeah, I guess I can do that," I said feeling my anxiety rise.

"Jessica? Are you okay?" Was the last thing I heard before I blacked out.

•••••••

"Jessica... wake up honey" Ms.Smiths voice said.

"Mmm, what happened?" I asked quietly.

"You blacked out again honey." She said sighing.

" H-How do I make that stop?" I asked.

"I don't know Jess. If I did I'd tell you. But I'll call my friend in NYC and give her you're number and get her to call you... okay?"

"Okay," I said then walked back out into the waiting room where Logan was.

"How'd it go?" He asked as I grabbed his hand and just walked out.

"I blacked out again. My anxiety's skyrocketing... I just need to get away from people for a minute." I said jumping into the car and putting my head between my legs.

"Jess. It's okay. I'm right here if you need me okay?" Logan said rubbing my back.

"I want to go somewhere. I don't know where. Just not here." I said trying to hide the fact I was crying.

"Okay, um buckle up and close your eyes I'm going to take you somewhere special." He said starting the car. I went to buckle up and he realized I was crying.

"Jess... I love you" He said kissing my cheek.

"I love you too," I said sniffling. We drove for what felt like 15 minutes before the car stopped and Logan ran around to open the door for me.

"Now keep your eyes closed." He said kissing my lips and grabbing my hand.

"I can try," I said following Logan.

"Here I'll just solve the problem." He said as he picked me up bridal style and started walking. "Better?" He asked.

"Way better," I said snuggling into his neck to keep my eyes closed. He walked for a good 3 minutes before he put me down and helped me sit down criss-cross applesauce.

"Keep them closed." He said as he sat down next to me. He grabbed my hand and made me rest my head on his shoulder.

"Open." He said. I immediately opened my eyes and can't believe I saw the very place we met. Sitting on the dock just like we had the night we met.

"Logan, you're so good to me," I said resting my chin on his should and kissing his cheek.

"I do what I can. You came here to clear your head and it had seemed to help with my company so... let's try it again." He said before clearing his throat, and resting his head on mine. "I'm Logan. My band just broke up a few months ago and I'm still not over it." He told me like he had a couple months ago.

"I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?" I said looking out at the same tree I had just months ago when I asked him the same question.

"Not really. If you don't mind me asking... why are you here?" He said rubbing his thumb over mine.

"I'm about to make the biggest move and a very important step in my life and I'm about to lose the best therapist I've ever had. The only one I trust 100%, and she says she knows someone in NYC just like her but I don't want someone just like her. I want her. I don't know how to cope with it yet. I guess I'll learn though." I said sighing afterward. It feels great to get it off my chest.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I wish there were something I could do." He said feeling defeated because there was truly nothing he could do.

"It's okay. I have an incredible boyfriend who is always there for me." I said looking up at him.

"I bet he's a good one." He said before crashing his lips into mine. I've been so caught up in myself I hadn't asked Logan how he was or how he was handling the band breaking up.

"Hey, Logan," I said almost as a whisper.

"Yeah, babe." He said laying his head on my shoulder watching the sunset.

"How are you handling the breakup? I've been too worried about myself to worry about you."

"No Jess it's fine. Helping you deal with your problems is actually keeping my mind off of it. I mean it's not that I'm upset about Nickelodeon fucking us in the ass, but the fact that of all of us making music together again probably won't happen; and I know that hurts a lot of fans." He said still not budging his eyes from the other side of the pond.

"Yeah, that I get that. A lot. But at least you guys can all make music and you'll always have the fandom that will support all four of you." I said scooting closer to him because it's getting colder.

"That's true I guess. I love you. Thank you." He said kissing my cheek and pulling me up to give me a hug.

"You know, you give the best hugs in the world," I said resting my head on his chest.

"I've heard that before, yeah." He said smiling down at me.

"Can we go home now?" I said shivering.

"Depends... do you feel better?" He said not releasing me from the hug to keep me warm.

"Yeah, actually. I do. Thank you." I said before he walked us back up to the car.

A/N: Hellooooo!!! Having pre-wrote chapters is amazing because now all I have to do is throw in an authors note and publish! Before I get into that though... How is everyone? I hope you're all well! I got my first job interview yesterday so I might be getting a job which means updates will be on the right days just at weird times. But anywaysssss I love you guys! ALSO, I published Secretly Wild!!!! Go check it out it's pretty cool and different from everything else!