Everything I Ever Wished For (Aaronica)(Varco)

Chapter 21: Gave Up

Song: Out Loud by Gabbie Hanna
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7 months later
Roni's POV.

It's been 7 whole months since Aaron's been gone. Every single day of the 7 months, me, Alex, Lauren and Nessa go out just to look for him. Everything is literally different without Aaron, I feel like a different person without him. For 4 months, I wasn't eating, I barely talked, I barely went out. Its different. A lot happened in those months, Marco flew back to Orlando and comes back to LA about once or twice a month to visit Nessa. I met a guy named Ethan.. Yes Ethan Dolan. You might know him cuz him and his twin brother Grayson are very famous on YouTube. I met both of them about three months ago, they're both rlly nice guys, Nessa and I have been hanging out with them a lot recently. Ethan...has helped me so much with his Aaron thing. I told him everything and he comforted me, gave me advice and everything. He's been with me through my ups and downs. My anxiety has gotten worse but he was there for me. Ethan is a great guy and I definitely feel a bit of something with him but it's nothing compared to the way I felt about Aaron. E and Gray is also helping us find Aaron but unfortunately there's no sign of him at all.

Right now, we're all in a circle having meeting on what to do. "You guys.... Its been 7 months... " Alex said. "....and there's still no sign of him" I said. "Do u guys think it's time to give up? " Lauren asked. "I don't know but aren't you guys getting tired tho??" Grayson asked. "I'm very tired" I said. "Yeah but he's my brother" Alex said. "Which ran away and didn't tell you" Lauren said. "Yeah but he's still my brother" Alex said. "Honestly I think this is Roni and Alex's choice. Aaron was very important to them and I think it should be up to them if we give up or not" Ethan said as Alex and I think about it. "I don't want to give up. But there's literally no point of looking for him" Alex said. "Why not?" Lauren asked. "You guys! We went to every store, hotel, casino, club and party in LA! We even went to New York just to look for him! We went to the Philippines to find him! We went to so much places to find him but still can't find even one single clue. Don't you guys think it's pointless anymore." Alex said. "True..." Nessa says. "Roni? How bout u? What do you think? " Ethan asked looking at me. "Alex is right.... We should probably give up. we're wasting time on nothing. There's so much stuff we can do than find him... I guess we all just have to accept he's.....gone" I said. "So..are we giving up or what? " Gray asked. "We're giving up. " Lauren said. "Okay... I- I'm gonna go outside. I need a little air right now" I said then went outside to think.

I still can't get over the fact that he's gone. He's never contact any of us at all. We try to reach his DMS in Twitter and Instagram but he really won't answer. I decided I'm gonna watch his last YouTube video again. I clicked on it and started crying. He said he loved me, and that he wishes the best of me. Whatever his reason was....we could've gone through it together. Aaron and I had a rlly deep connection and I can't believe this "reason" That he's saying made him run away. Even if the reason was that bad we could've gone through it together. All the memories with him... Is.... Just hard to forget. The last words he ever said to me was... "Just remember... I love you". A tear dropped in my eye realizing i never say I love you back to him. Now i dont have a chance because.. He's gone.

Ethan tapped my shoulder and asked. " Roni is everything okay? " Ethan asked politely as I look at him and just hugged him. He was surprised at first but he hugged back right after. "I miss him E" I said. "Shhh I know." Ethan said and kept hugging me. "I shouldn't have kissed him. I shouldn't have confessed" I said. "Roni. It's not your fault. When u kissed him, he kissed back, when u confronted to him he confessed to you back. Theres no way that could be your fault. Pls stop blaming urself. Whatever he did, he did it for a reason, u may not know the reason but I'm sure it's a good reason" Ethan said. "I still can't get over the fact that he's gone. Something is missing without him E, everything's different. I don't feel the same. I don't feel like myself without him" I said. "Then let's help you find yourself again" I said. "Its not that easy Ethan. I see him everywhere. I see him in the dark, I see him in my dreams. He's everywhere! I can't get him out of my head! He left and I can't help but think every one else is gonna leave too" I said. "Roni you can't just stop life because of him. Doesn't mean if he leaves everyone else leaves too. Roni... Look at me" Ethan said and put his hand in my cheek making me look at him right in his eyes. "I'm here. I'll always be here. I'm not leaving, whatever happens I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving you. I'll always be here for you k? " Ethan asked. "K" I said as he pulled me into a hug again. "Thank you E" i said. "Anytime. So should we go back inside?" Ethan asked as i nod.