Everything I Ever Wished For (Aaronica)(Varco)

Chapter 43: Not Knowing How and What To Feel

The next day

Roni's POV.

I stayed up all night thinking about....Aaron. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. My feelings are coming back. No! Why?! Gosh I have to talk to Nessa about this.

"Nessa" I said. "Yo what's up?" Nessa asked. "Marco can u give Nessa and I a minute pls?" I asked. "Sure" Marco said leaving. "What's up?" Nessa asked. "My feelings. They're back" I said. "What???! What feelings?" Nessa asked. "My feelings for Aaron" I said. "But-" before she could finish I cut her off. "I KNOW! IDK WHY THIS IS HAPPENING. I DONT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING. I LOVE ETHAN RIGHT? AND ONLY ETHAN? NESSA WHY IS THIS HAPPENING. Yesterday I wanted to kiss him during that chicken fight. I wanted to kiss him so bad. Why is this all happening pls Nessa help me" I said. "Calm down calm down. I will. Okay tell me exactly how u feel rn" Nessa said. "I have mixed feelings rn. I love Ethan but there's a part of me
still have feelings for Aaron. Nessa he left for three years, I was broken, u know that. Why do I feel like this?! Why?! I thought we were just gonna be friends?! I feel exactly how I felt three years ago. Where I liked him but didn't tell him. Idk what to do Nessa. I love Ethan and I want to forgive him but we can't be together if I have these feelings." I said. "Oh Roni.. u are screwed" Nessa said. "Not helping" I said. "Okay sorry. Have u completely understood these feelings for Aaron???" Nessa asked. "No" I said. "Get to know it more. Spend time with Aaron more and compare it with Ethan. Who are u happier with?" Nessa asked. "I don't know but my question is why would I still have feelings for him?! I mean THAT WAS THREE YEARS AGO!!!" I said. "Yeah but u loved him with ur whole heart and would do anything for him. Is that how u feel RN?" Nessa asked. "Kinda" I said. "No kinda. It's just either yes or no" Nessa said. "Or..." I said as Nessa rolled her eyes. "Roni you've got to figure out how u feel first. I know it's hard to fall for the guy again but like we can't help how we feel. See Aaron left for a reason. Aaron left for you. Even if I don't know the reason I'm pretty sure it was for you. So figure it all out before u jump to any other conclusions" Nessa said. "The thing is...he's in love with a girl. The girl just doesn't love him back" I said. "Ouch that must've hurt" Nessa said. "...idk how I feel" I said. "Roni just...figure out ur feelings first okay?" Nessa asked. "Okay thanks Nessa" I said. "Welcome. Come here" Nessa said pulling me into a hug as I hug her back.

Aaron's POV.

I was sitting down on the sand with Alex just talking. "Hey when are u gonna tell Roni u love her?" Alex asked. "I don't know but I'm pretty sure she's still in love with Ethan" I said. "I disagree with that" Alex said. "What why?" I asked. "I saw the way u guys looked and laugh around each other. You guys were literally gonna kiss each other yesterday if I didn't stop you. She likes u back man. I'm pretty sure she still has some feelings for u just like before" Alex said. "Really?" I asked. "Yeah." Alex said. "Hey if u were in my position rn what would u do?" I asked. "Now that she's on a break with her boyfriend....I would tell her if I were u cuz....this is just gonna hurt more if she ever gets back with him. So better make ur move before somebody else's does. I saw how Roni acted around you Aaron. It was just like old times" Alex said. "Do u think I should tell her today?" I asked. "That's your choice. But if I were u. I would. Like I know it takes a lot of courage but let me tell u that a huge weight from ur shoulders are gonna get off when u tell her" Alex said. "Ur right. I should tell her. Thanks man I'll brb I'm gonna go find her" I said. "Okay go get ur girl" Alex said as I hurry up and start to find Roni.

Once I found her I went up to her. And said. "Hey Roni can I talk to you for a sec?" I asked. "Of course." Roni said with a smile.

God. That smile. I would die for that smile

We start walking and start making a conversation. I decided to take things slow. Not gonna lie I am nervous and scared. Cuz this isn't a joke. These feelings I have for Roni isn't a joke. I still love her and I know she loves me too.

"So what's up?" Roni asked. "Nothin I just wanted to hang out" I said. "Oh ok" Roni said. "Hey can I bring u somewhere?" I asked. "Sure" Roni said as we get an Uber. I decided to bring her to a hilltop. We used to go hilltops all the time before. I remember when I told her about my secret in a hilltop. This is gonna bring up some memories.

About 20 mins later we arrive and start walking. "We used to go to hilltops all the time why not go now?" I asked. "Yea...I missed this" Roni said. "U did?" I asked. "Yeah..." Roni said sitting down as I sat down beside her. "I still can't believe ur here beside me. I never thought I would see you again but....I did" I said. "Same here. Everything changed when u showed up" Roni said. "Yeah I know. Once again. I'm sorry" I said. "U have nothing to be sorry about" Roni said. "... Roni can I ask u a question?" I asked. "Sure" Roni said. "Are u still in love with Ethan?" I asked

Roni's POV
"Are u still in love with Ethan?" Aaron asked.

I froze. I didn't know what to say cuz I didn't know how I felt.

"....yeah...of course I'm in love with Ethan" I said.

I just said that cuz I knew I had to say something. I couldn't say I didn't know cuz he's gonna be asking questions. I can't say I don't love Ethan cuz that is so not true. I can't also say that I'm in love with ONLY ETHAN. Idk how I feel okay?! I just have to figure everything out.

"Oh...should've known" Aaron said looking down as I felt bad. "Uh why do u ask?" I asked. "Oh uh nothing. Hey I gtg and meet up with Alex. I'll talk to you later. Okay? Okay. " Aaron said then left before I could even reply.
What the hell did I just do. I called Nessa and about 5 mins later she arrived and we started talking

"What happened?" Nessa asked. "He asked me if I still loved Ethan" I said. "No wayyy what did u say?" Nessa asked. "That I still am.." I said as Nessa face palms herself. "WHY WHY WHY WHY IN THE WORLD DID U SAY THAT?!" Nessa asked. "Idk!! I didn't know what to say!!!" I said. "U COULDVE SAID SOMETHING ELSE!!" Nessa said. "I couldn't think of anything okay?! I didn't know how I felt about him" I said. "Roni do u love Ethan?" Nessa asked. "Yes" I said. "Do u love Aaron?" Nessa asked. "No....yes ....I don't know" I said. "Roni u have to figure this out before it goes any further." Nessa said."well I don't wanna hurt any of them" I said. "Ur gonna have to" Nessa said. "What if I don't want to?" I asked. "Well that's ur choice cuz those two are gonna keep fighting for ur love no matter what" Nessa said. "Ughh why is this so hard. I don't know why I feel this way. I rlly don't" I said. "You'll figure out okay?" Nessa asked. "Okay. " I said smiling at her as we hug then let go.

Aaron's POV

"I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell her. She's still in love with Ethan" i said. "No she's not!!!" Alex said. "Yes she is!! She said it herself Alex! U think this is so easy but it isn't!!!  This is harder than it looks!! What would u do if u were in my shoes huh?! Would u break ur friendship with Ethan more than it already is?!?! I'm sorry but I just can't tell her yet" I said. "Well ur gonna have to"  Alex said. "I know. Just give me time" I said. "So what are u planning to do?" Alex asked. "Ignore her" I said. "U can't get rid of ur feelings of u ignore her Aaron." Alex said. "Well it's worth a try" I said. "Fine you do you but whatever" Alex said. "...Alex promise me you won't tell her" I said. "I promise" Alex said then walked away.

God. I'm so stupid.  I'm so stupid to think she actually has feelings for me back. I could've known she's in love with Ethan and Ethan only. Ugh why does love have to hurt so much