Sam's Past (Samgladiator Fanfiction)

Hello again Readers

This is serious and kinda sensitive. If it bothers you, I'm sorry I guess.

Hey Readers.

So, I've been gone. A really long time. So, what happened?

I, if it wasn't obvious, take terrible care of myself. I generally am in a poor condition one way or the next. However, I have been in a poor mindset for an even longer time. Most of my life has been... kinda suckish. I've been depressed and scared for most of it. When I started writing, I took the parts of my life I enjoyed and stuck them together. YouTube and writing. It gave me a certain happiness but it was short lived you could say. During writing this I got sick several times, one of which went through almost 6 months. During that same point, my grades dropped and my absences stacked up. The happiness I gained turned into sour anxiety. I questioned how much I was really doing in anything and my originality (or lack there of). So I just stopped. More events took place which started killing my mental state. I was unhappy for most of the time. I stopped watching YouTube as much and when I did? YouTube hit the fan and people I watched started dropping what they used to do for what was popular. I wasn't even given much time to write anymore. My escapes were being decimated. Then I felt nothing but being trapped. Recently I nearly thought to end everything after not being taken seriously about wanting to get help. I couldn't bring myself to do anything really, but after a breakdown within my school the staff thought I'd come too close regardless. This lead to me finally getting around to the help I've been wanting. I'm starting to go to counseling! I've been content and almost happy. This may not be seen as appropriate, but this has and always will be just a way for me to express and please myself. A couple days ago (a few before I tried and then got help), I decided to download Wattpad. I was bored and wanted to read in the meantime. I signed in, forgetting a lot of what I had. Then I got a notification. A new Reader I hadn't seen before. They wanted me to continue. I looked in my parts and saw the beginning of a chapter. After reading through, I figured I had to continue as I can't stand reading something unfinished. I replied to let them know it was up and it was enjoyed. Sure it was small, but it was read and seemingly liked. It felt good. I started writing more after my creative writing class started giving me too much time after finishing assignments. Then I did another chapter. Now I'm close to getting helped out of my own head. I'm not saying I'll be consistent or that I'll from henceforth always be better because it's not true. What I am saying is that this is my outlet. I can't let my outlet become stressful and I can't just turn my back on it. It helps me. So, I'll be writing but not in schedule, maybe not even within this book. But, I'll be writing. I'm sorry for those who enjoyed this an we're left hanging and I'm sorry to any new people that were hoping for a stable author with a stable schedule.
You get me. Sorry🤗
I'll be writing whenever, but the story certainly isn't done yet.

Expect to see at some point next, more getting comfortable family stuff, some detective stuff here and there, and probably a lengthy court case.

See ya.