Fall

three

three | paul

When my phone rang, agad akong nagpaalam kay Lira dahil magpapasama si Celine na mag-shopping—one thing I didn't really love doing. At kahit ayaw ko pang umalis, I had no choice. Celine was my girlfriend after all. And so, pinuntahan ko siya sa Condo niya.

As usual, I had to wait for another hour bago siya lumabas sa kwarto niya. I had to drive papuntang Mall and wait as she tries on everything she sees. Then we ate at her favorite Italian Restaurant. On our way home, she told me stories about her go-sees, kung paano na-impress sa kaniya 'yung mga designers and all.

"Hey, Babe, are you okay?" tanong ni Celine na nakagising ng diwa ko na kung saan saan na naman napadpad.

"O-Of course," sagot ko. "What were you saying?"

"I was telling you about this designer na nakilala ko on one of my castings. He was really impressed by the way I walk and look in photographs. One in a million daw," kwento niyang muli. And she continued until makarating kami sa Condo niya.

A year and two months na rin simula no'ng sagutin ako ni Celine. I met her sa isang event through a friend. I courted her for 4 months bago niya ako sinagot. I was honestly happy with her and our relationship. Masyado lang siyang passionate sa modelling career niya that she no longer has the time for me. Okay lang sa'kin, I understand. But lately, I've been feeling kind of off. Tingin ko kasi ako na lang 'yung nag-e-effort. Nagkikita na nga lang kami tuwing absent 'yung driver niya, wala pang masyadong oras dahil ang dami niyang castings. Although I understand her reasons, hindi ko maiwasang mag-isip.

It was already 7 in the evening at pagod na ako. Good thing hindi na nagpilit si Celine no'ng magpaalam ako.

"Okay, Babe. Rest well. Good night." She gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

Nakauwi ako sa bahay. Dumiretso na lang ako sa kwarto ko para magpahinga. Besides, I already ate.

I stared blankly at my ceiling, thinking of nothing but my confused feelings. Hindi ko maiwasang mag-doubt tungkol sa nararamdaman ko every time I was with Celine. It's not that I was no longer happy. Siguro... ewan, hindi pa rin clear sa'kin.

Celine's actually beautiful. She's really nice and thoughtful. She doesn't nag, and doesn't ask as much questions as other girlfriends would do, and I'm perfectly happy with that. But something just feels lacking. Something I know she wouldn't fill in spite her good qualities which I fell for.

And at one part of my mind, mukha ni Lira 'yung nakikita ko.

The next morning was a Sunday. Tinawagan ko si Celine para mag-Simba pero sabi niya, she had to go to another casting again. I scrolled on my contact list. Tinawagan ko si Lira.

"Good morning, Lee," bati ko sa kaniya. Kakagising niya lang yata. "Simba tayo?"

"Good morning, Paul. O sige. Antayin mo na lang ako sa Church. Ligo lang ako."

Ten-minute drive lang 'yung papuntang Simbahan mula sa bahay. Though I agreed, nag-decide ako na sunduin siya. On my way papunta sa bahay nila, naglalaro sa isip ko 'yung mga bagay na matagal ko nang inalis sa sistema ko. Pilit ko na lang na di-ni-stract ang sarili ko.

Nakarating ako sa kanila at pinapasok ako ni Trish. Nagbibihis pa raw si Lira. After a few minutes, nakita ko na siyang pababa ng hagdan. She was wearing a yellow floral dress na bumagay sa complexion niya. Nakaipit 'yung buhok niya. She looked cute—no, she looked beautiful. And she had that smile again.

Napangiti ako. "Well, hello there. Babae ka ngayon, ah?" I was totally amazed pero dinaan ko lang sa biro.

She frowned upon hearing my comment at umakmang aakyat ulit ng hagdan. "Sandali, magpapalit ako."