Poems

I'd Never Know

You let him go.

You do t know it yet but in your actions it says so.

Or maybe you haven't.

Maybe there's a chance.

Maybe ill wake up tomorrow and hold him tighter than before.

Maybe ill be able to grab him before he reaches the door.

Although if he doesn't want to stay.

I don't wanna get in his way.

But I truly love him on a way that can't fade.

I want him in my life.

I want him to be mine to hold.

But maybe I'm being selfish.

And maybe he's expected else where with another hand to hold.

Maybe he's supposed to be somebody else's everything.

And I keep him caged.

And letting him go could be the high light of his days.

But what if he's here to save me from myself and help me reach the top shelves?

I guess I wouldnt know if I never let him go.

So I believe I know now what I must do.

I must muster all the courage I have left...and open the door and wait till he's left.

Then I can fall on my knees and scream at the top of my lungs.

I can cry till my eyes swell shut and feel the crack grow in my head with every thud.

I can then feel the burning of my soul as the one I love and know....wanders off and gets betrothed.

I can then watch from a distance with an ache so painful its like a dagger through the chest.

And when I run into him in public ill just smile and wish him the best.

Ill look through our pictures in private and pretend I've forgot your name.

But at night ill have night mares that wake me until I wish to never sleep again.

Will wake up and smile at the memories of us.

And then a tear will slip from the inner corner of my eyes as I think back to the silly reason I said good bye.

But I cant stop fate.

Unless it doesn't exist, and in that case I wouldbt let him go.

But if I were to keep him...once again I'd never know.

I dont want to cling to his magic...I don't want to be the leach.

I just want to protect him and keep in my arms and share our heat.

I wanna hear the kill any of his heart that chases my night terrors a way.

I want to live forever with this boy...I'm glad his parents made.

I want to hold his hand and see his smiles.

I want to hear his unique laughter and get lost in his eyes.

I want to hear his voice...and have him at my side when becomes the time to die.

But if he's not meant for me...I'm being a simple jerk holding him off from the better path at the fork.

I cant watch as I feed off his energy.

Do I give him these feelings? Or am I just ashamed of me?

I cant imagine a world without him.

Even if not so long ago...the wonderful man I didnt even know.

Ive met him once and its been rough.

But if he feels the same about me I'd fight the waves no matter how tough.

Everytime I close my eyes he's there before me.

But I know he's far away and at thw thaught I get a tinge of pain.

Tell me how I can survive a heart break from a love this strong?

Tell me how he fits my puzzle but doesnt belong?

Maybe I met him too soon or maybe a little too late.

Maybe meeting him was my mistake.

Of never imagined true lover being a murderer.

But I found that's most likely how everyone dies.

I can't bring myself to set him free.

I should let him know my feeling....

And have him decide for me.

I wander if he feels or thaught the same.

But if I'm holding him back from Destiny.

I'd like to know he chose it for himself.

And if he chose me. Oh how happy id be.

Maybe that's where star crossed lover come from...

When against all odds you decide to fight and go against all odds.

And maybe we're perfect and can eventually win.

But if I dont let him in....I'd once again...never know.

So ill poor my heart out to him.

Ill hang it from a string.

Ill let him have the choice and if the times comes ill pridefully let him go.