Spring Day | BTS ✔

05

The ride to Seoul was already feeling like a year's trip. Each minute felt like 10 hours, a headache growing between each. There were very few people on the train car. There was a rushed looking older woman and a man who looked like he wasn't going much of anywhere.

Other than us three, the only occupants of the car were some luggage and small forgotten items. I saw a little keychain on the ground by one of the exit doors. The plush figure hanging from the metal ring was a sleeping blue koala. I smiled at it, picking it up as I inspected it. Some kid was probably missing it, though it'd probably just be thrown out at the station anyways.

I sighed and tried not to picture Namjoon's car crash. The nurse said he was okay right? I shook my head and focused on the little creature. 'Koya' was stitched into its arm. Must be part of some new character franchise.

Still, I couldn't help but imagine the car wrapping around the trunk of a twisted oak. Painfully vivid imagery of what Namjoon might've seen before everything black came to pass. The worst parts were when my brain gave me thoughts that those stupid imagination theories of what Namjoon saw might be the last things the other one ever sees.

I shuddered at the thoughts in my head.

Stop it Hoseok keep it together.

Instead, I tried thinking about something else, like who the unidentified guy might be. Why couldn't they find his information? Does Namjoon have friends who don't live in Seoul? Maybe he just never registered for health insurance. Still, he'd have a record in the system unless his home hospital was on the other side of the country. Busan or Ulsan maybe?

I sighed and leaned my head back against the window behind me. Maybe it was one of our old friends? Namjoon might be destructive and clumsy, but he was responsible – to a point. He wouldn't have been out in this weather unless it was extremely important. Maybe he was finally apologizing to one of them, trying to mend some past guilt for what happened in a way by doing so, maybe not.

Namjoon wasn't what you would call 'skilled' at apologies. In fact, he sucked at them, but we always found a way to accept his words when the time came to.

At the same time, he might've found someone who could actually teach him what it meant to apologize in the past four years. I smiled at that thought. Maybe Namjoon had found someone finally, God I hoped that was true. I might not be on good terms with him, or any of them, anymore, but I would never not wish them well. Namjoon was a hard worker and even though he was a thick headed idiot sometimes, he was a good person. He deserved someone who'd help mend the fixable flaws and improve the ones that would never quite go away.

The smile fell again as I remembered that I had no place wondering about those types of things anymore. It was almost the same as wishing the same for a stranger. It was nice to hope those things, but in truth, we can't wish those things for strangers because they might have reasons that they'll never be able to have those wishes for themselves.

"Is that what we are now...?" I sighed to myself, "Strangers?"

Thinking how my best friend could now be so foreign and strange to me...I feel like I'm by myself on this train just thinking about it, like I'm alone on the Snowpiercer and I wanna get to the other side of the earth, holding your hand. I don't want to be alone anymore.