Just like death can be a life saver too
[Just wanted to use Spring Day's lyrics to tell an angsty story]
Started 23.04.18
Finished 30.05.18
(Not edited so forgive the typos and grammar)
(Also I used lyrics off a website that doesn't have the best tr...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I felt horrible about the new information regarding Jimin. Did he really get that low? Were we a reason why in that last year? Was I?
"I'm sorry," I whispered, but they all heard it, "I've wanted to say I'm sorry ever since I left the apartment, but...I never could. And I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too Kook," I looked up at Hoseok who offered me a small smile.
"Me too," Namjoon spoke up. 'I'm sorry' and 'me too' chorused from Yoongi and Jin as well. Taehyung stayed silent.
"None of you have to be," he said finally. We all looked at him. His anger that had sat with him the entire time had disappeared after Jimin's second episode.
"Remember what we all promised each other when we first met?" Taehyung turned his gaze away from Jimin to bounce past each of us.
"Of course," Yoongi nodded, "We promised each other that we'd make sure we never had to apologize to each other."
I smiled remembering that promise. We'd all been bullied and beat on until we found each other. The one thing that connected us the most when we first began hanging out...? Our bullies always made us apologize to them.
We never wanted to have to apologize because we wanted security with each other; that we'd never have to worry about hurting one another.
"Can we ever be the way were again? When things were good..." I looked over at Namjoon as he stared silently at Jimin.
"No," we all looked at Hoseok, "We were young and stupid. We were friends because we had to be to survive in some capacity. Now, we're older and we have lives. We don't need to depend on anyone but ourselves..."
It was silent for a while before he finished.
"If we were to be friends again...a family again...it would be because we wanted to be with each other. It would be a lot more meaningful and..." he looked for the word.
"Stronger," Taehyung muttered and Hoseok nodded.
"We aren't kids anymore. The bonds we make now aren't that easily broken," I smiled at Hoseok and he returned it. I missed seeing him smile.
"Well, Kook is still a kid," Jin said bluntly and I looked at him pointedly. He turned to me, his face serious, until a small smile cracked across his face.
"Did you just make a joke?" I deadpanned, "Are we joking now? Is that it?"
We all began to laugh. It was nice to laugh together again. Eventually though, it died down and we returned to a state of down-faced silence from the absence of one laugh that seemed like it would never come back.
"I miss you," Jin was quiet, but we all heard him. Even Jimin's monitor spiked a bit before leveling out again.
"Me too," I muttered, looking over at Jin, "But Jimin should be here for any of us to say that. There's no us without him."
Snowflakes fall down and get farther away little by little, but they can land next to each other in the end as well. I miss you. And I can finally say I miss you.
__ I love angst. I love you. But angst /sucks in breath/ I love it more.
