The Other Wayland

A Lovers' Quarrel

Jace's POV
Joe still hadn't come back with Beth so I went in search of them. I found them sitting outside of the Institute on the steps. Joe had an arm wrapped around her waist and she had her head on his shoulder. It looked like they were having a conversation. I felt like I was intruding but I still opened the door and went outside. They were so much in their own little world that they didn't realise I was there. I stood watching them for a while before clearing my throat. There was something going on between the two of them that she wasn't telling me. Not that she had to tell me, I was her older brother but we weren't as close as we used to be. Joe leapt up once he realised just was there.

"Jace, we were just..."

"It doesn't matter, I just came to check that you hadn't been kidnapped or anything," I said nonchalantly. Beth still hadn't stood up, she looked as if she was in a daze. "We saved breakfast for you. If you want it." 

"Sure, we'll be right through," Joe answered looking down at Beth. "Liza?"

"I'm fine, go ahead, I'm really not hungry." She was gazing off into space, her voice reflecting that lack of concentration on the conversation. 

"You sure?" Joe looked at her concerned. She nodded slightly and continued to stare at nothing. "Alright. Come find me later, I'm going to do some training." She nodded again and Joe went back inside. She watched him leave then sighed and gazed off into the distance. She was stuck in her head with her thoughts and Angel, was that the most dangerous place to be stuck.

"What's going on up there, sweetie?" I asked sitting down on the cold stone next to her. 

"Joe and I had an argument. How come you only end up hurting the people you love?" She asked seriously looking me in the eye. "It's like even though you try your god damn hardest to protect them, you always end up hurting the most."

"I honestly don't know. Love is a fickle thing. What were you arguing about, did he hurt you?" I suddenly jumped to all sort of horrible conclusions all which ended with me beating Joe up for hurting her. 

"Yes and no." She sighed. "Please don't freak out. While I was unconscious, I was tortured." She took a deep breath. "He made me watch you and Joe die in very painful and unpleasant ways repeatedly and when he'd thought that was enough he had you and Joe kill me."
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Elizabeth's POV
He tensed up. "Why?" He choked out. 

"Because I love you both," I stated simply not knowing what else to say. 

"What?" 

"I love you and Joe so he punished me. He wanted to make sure that I understood that love was a mistake." 

"That sounds like Father." He nodded. "I can't believe he did that to you, you were his favourite." 

"Got a funny way of showing it." I scoffed. "He was so angry with me, everything I've done since his 'death' has disappointed him. I am a disgrace to him." 

"You are in no way a disgrace to anyone do you understand?" He says harshly. "You are an incredibly strong young woman, you are one of the best shadowhunter that our generation has seen and if our father can't see that then screw him!" I smiled at that, my brother was so protective at times but understood me like nobody else. 

"Thank you, Jace." I grinned. "When I told Joe he freaked out. I didn't mean to upset him." 

"It's because that poor boy is hopelessly in love with you, everyone and their mother can see that. It upset him because he hates the thought that he has hurt you. He hates himself for it." He said seriously.

"How can you know that?" I asked desperately.

"Because I feel the same." With that he stood up and left, leaving me alone on the steps. I sat in shock for a few seconds before I followed Jace into the institute.
******
Around lunchtime, Joe still hadn't reappeared from the training room in the attic. I was sitting in the greenhouse where I was finishing a watercolour of the plants to add to my sketchbook. It was best not to disturb Joe when he was training alone, it usually meant he was taking his anger out in a rather violent manner or was brooding, neither angry nor brooding Joe was the best of company, and to be honest I wanted to be alone for a little time.

The rest of the institute gang had headed out on a mission involving Clary hours ago. They hadn't come back yet having banned me from coming because I needed 'rest' according to Jace and so even though I argued and protested he refused to let me leave and much to my disgust he was backed up by both Alec and Izzy. So I stayed behind. It irritated me that I was beginning to become useless and that was the last thing I needed. I needed to keep busy and occupied. My thoughts were growing dangerous at the moment and the longer I had nothing to do, the more chance I had to replay the horrific events of the previous night over again.
I laid down my paintbrush and went in search of food. I hadn't eaten all day and was starting to get a little light headed. Once in the kitchen, I made myself and Joe a quick sandwich and walked up the flight of stairs to the training room. I knocked on the door and called lightly. "I come in peace bearing the gift of food, please don't kill me!" 

He swung open the door, he stood shirtless and sweaty with a dagger in hand which he dropped in favour of the plate of food I was holding. "Thanks." He went to close the door again but I stuck my foot in it so he couldn't. "Elizabeth." He said warning me. "Take your foot out the door." 

"No, I understand that you're upset. I understand that this hurts you, I do. You can't just throw some knives and hope the pain will go away. We both know it won't." I pushed my way into the training room. "I'm not gonna let you punish yourself for this! It wasn't your fault, you didn't hurt me!" I shouted. "Get it through your head that it wasn't real! It was all in my head!"

"You bled for real though, you almost drowned for real! Knowing that I was the one doing that to you is destroying me! Knowing that you were punished for loving me makes me hate myself!" He shouted back.

"It. Is. Not. Your. Fault! Stop punishing yourself for it! It's not going to fix anything! I can't deal with you hating yourself for something you didn't do! I didn't tell you because of this! I didn't want you to hate yourself over it! I was trying to protect you!" I yelled.

"I'm your partner! I don't need you to protect me!" He shouted angrily.

"Yeah but you're not just my partner any more are you?" I scoffed. "That's the whole reason why you're acting like this isn't it?" I asked he stared at me. "Because we changed things?"

"By the Angel, of course, it is! You were tortured for just loving me. Now that we've acted on that, that we've started this." He motioned at the very small space in between us. "Angel knows what he's going to do to you!" He shook his head. "I can't protect from what's going on inside your head, I can't stop him from hurting you and I can't stand that!"

"I don't need you to protect me! I just need you to be there for me in the aftermath of whatever it is that he chooses to do to me. Clearly, you can't be if this is how you react every time I tell you what he does to me." I left the room. "I can't do this! Not right now! Not with you!"

"Elizabeth!" I heard his shout over the sound of the door slamming behind me. As I walked away I heard a plate smash and stopped for a moment before hearing the methodic thump of knives hitting a target and continued to walk away my heart breaking under the pain of it.