Hopeless State Of Mind

Live To See.

Join me in smiling
At memories not yet made;
I no longer find it too disquieting
That I'll probably never make them.

I'm tired, so even if I'm still alive,
I'll sleep away all of my time,
Burdensome and color-draining.
I don't grapple with guilt anymore-
I don't fucking have to, I can't.

I live in hazy fever-dream fantasies
To coax a dull smile
Into sometimes coming out
From behind the tears of self pity.

The present is plagued
With a closed-casket darkness.
That offers nothing to find pride in.

I find light only in the hope
That progress might someday come
In the years after I am gone.

It's easiest to be proud of a future
When it's only left
To your tired imagination.