Saved (A Loki fanfiction)

Is This What I Think It Is?

Loki ran ignoring their pleas for him to stop. He didn't care what they had to say. He needed to apologize. Not that that was even enough, but he had to try.

He spotted Astryd out on a balcony looking out as the wind blew her hair. Loki stepped out onto the terrace and touched her shoulder. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I just... I know not what to say, Astryd. Nothing other than I am truly sorry." Loki said, almost pleading for forgiveness.

"So they told you, huh?" She asked quietly. She turned around to face Loki, brushing his hand off her shoulder. "I didn't want you to know. Not at all. I forgive you. I do. You didn't even know you did it. It's just... I want them back..." A single tear spilled down her eye as she turned back around to face the city in front of her. "I'm sorry... I usually don't like people seeing me like this."

"How could you possibly forgive me? I know not if even anyone else in there forgives me. I do not deserve such kindness from any of you. You took me away from S.H.I.E.L.D. Why?" Loki whispered.

She paused. Why did she? She should be killing him right then and there. She should watch the light run out of his eyes. But she couldn't. He didn't deserve that. Loki didn't even want to do what he did. "I guess... I think, no, I know you didn't want to do what you did. I could only imagine what those creatures must've done to make you do that." She said softly.

Loki felt memories come rushing through his head but pushed him back. Right now, Astryd needed him.

"I'm sorry that you were forced to that. I brought you here because you didn't deserve what was happening to you. I knew that the Chitauri didn't just say 'hey! come take over the world!' and an innocent man like you say 'ya! It'll be fun!' and then do it. They must've done 'something' to make you do it. I didn't want you to live through that again."

Loki was dumbstruck. How did she know about the torture? At least, the one with Thanos.

Realization hit him.

She doesn't know about Thanos. She only knows of the Chitauri.

"Astryd... I'm afraid you know nothing..." Loki said looking away, down at the floor. "Not a single soul that lives here or Asgard or anywhere in the nine realms that could possibly know."

"Tell me..." She whispered.

Loki looked back up into her eyes. She was beautiful. The way hope and peace ran through her eyes-

What was he doing?

Astryd walked closer towards Loki, noses almost touching.

Is something about to happen that Loki thinks is going to happen?

But Loki wants her too.

No! Stop it! Why is she leaning closer? Why am I leaning closer? No!

The door to the balcony opened and Steve appeared. They pulled away quickly before anything could happen.

Phew!

"Hey guys, we're about to start a movie. Wanna watch?"

"Yeah, come on Loki." She said, gesturing for him to come.

Loki went and sat on the couch next to Tony and Astryd sat next to Bruce who was on the other end. Steve was in the middle.

"We're watching The Hunger Games." Tony said.

"Oh I love this movie!" Astryd exclaimed, clapping her hands.

. . .

When the movie was over Tony got a call from Fury informing him of the situation. He also asked why he hasn't been in to work and Tony said right then and there that he quit. He was still gonna get butt loads of money from them because... well he's Iron Man.

"Okay, so we have had some readings that seem to be the same readings we got from the Chitauri portal. Fury thinks some have gotten through and are here in New York." Steve explained to Loki and Astryd, Tony listening intently again, while Bruce was taking a shower.

Loki's breathing quickened. He stood up from the couch looking at Steve with pure fear in his eyes. Tony's and Astryd's attention went straight to Loki. "Here? You guys think they are here?" Loki asked, voice quivering.

"We're pretty certain... Why?" Tony said slowly.

"I'm gonna die..." Loki whispered to himself. "No... worse...."

"Loki?" Astryd asked worriedly.

"Hm? Oh... Um... I think I need to leave." Loki stuttered.

"Whoa, buddy, what? No." Tony said.

"I genuinely care about you and Astryd. I don't want you hurt. Steve and Bruce, well, they don't trust me. I can see it in their eyes. But I don't want them hurt either."

"What are you talking about?" Tony exclaimed loudly. "Talk to us."

Loki took a deep breath and began to explain. "Right before you and Steve arrested me from Germany, I went to visit the Other, which is Thanos' luteinent, to make sure everything was ready. He... informed me that... I wanted to... He said that if I failed there will be no where to hide. I know that... I can't hide... not from him... not from Thanos." Loki tried to hide the trembling in his hands but it didn't work.

"Wait a minute. Who is Thanos?" Steve asked.

Loki didn't want to answer. He has to. They need to know. "The ruler of the Chitauri. The mad Titan. The bringer of the most unbearable pain..." Loki added the last one quietly.

"What are you talking about?" Tony asked.

"Guys, it's not that hard. Loki was tortured into doing what he did." Astryd explained.

Loki nodded anxiously.

"It's no more than you deserved." Came Came a voice from behind them all.

They turned around to find Clint standing by the door listening without even wandering why Loki was here.

Loki's eyes darkened and he stepped closer towards Clint. "Really? You truly believe that? Did I deserve it when they skinned me while in fact knowing I would be healed by morning? Did I deserve it when they broke all of my bones watching me scream as they popped back into place so they could do it a second time? Did I deserve it that when they were done they left me in that burning hot room knowing I was a Frost Giant!? Did I Barton!? Did I truly deserve that!?" Loki yelled.

Realization hit Loki like a hit with Thor's hammer. He looked around at everyone's stunned faces, including Bruce who must have came back at the wrong time without anyone noticing.

"Dammit!" He yelled again before running out of the room.

I'm going full out Loki feels tonight!!! Next chapter will be posted in a while.