The Chaos Within (A Bellatrix Fanfiction)

Apologies

"Morning, Ezza," Draco greeted as I joined the Slytherin table.

"Morning, Draco," I replied, sitting beside Rosanna.

Professor Snape was already making his rounds, handing out timetables. I snagged a piece of toast while I waited, half-listening to the morning chatter. This year I had continued with Arithmancy and Ancient Runes and added Care of Magical Creatures. Whether that was a brilliant choice or a terrible lapse in judgment... I had yet to decide.

"Miss Brooks." Snape handed me my timetable with his usual clipped tone.

I scanned it quickly.

Transfiguration first thing, then Arithmancy.

Fantastic.

What a thrilling way to start the term.

(Note the sarcasm.)

As I chewed my toast, the morning post owls swooped into the hall. Loki, my mum's unbearably smug tawny owl, dove straight toward me and nearly knocked over my orange juice as he landed. A letter was tied to his leg.

"Probably my mum, panicking I've forgotten something," I muttered, untying it.

"That's a nice owl you've got, Erin." Draco grinned as he untied a package from his own eagle owl.

I rolled my eyes. "He's my mum's, not mine."

I opened the letter and sighed. As expected, Mum thought I'd left Shadow at home. As if I'd forget my own cat. I grabbed a quill and scribbled a reply:

Yes, I brought Shadow. Yes, she's fine. No, I haven't lost all common sense. Love to Dad.

I tied the letter back to Loki's leg. With a final arrogant blink, he took off.

Tyler, who'd been reading over my shoulder, snorted. "Your mum thought you forgot your cat?"

I chuckled. "Yeah. She has her moments."

"Well, she'd give Longbottom a run for his money," Draco said with a snort.

I laughed and grabbed my bag just as Becka stood up. "Come on, nerds. We'll be late for McGonagall if we don't hurry."

"You're such a nerd," I teased. "I'd rather skip Transfig."

"Sure, but I like my head attached to my body, thanks." She smirked.

"Fair point," I muttered as we headed out of the hall.

"God, that lesson was so boring," Suzanne groaned as we filed out of Transfiguration.

"That's only because you didn't manage to fully turn your gerbil into a goblet," Tristan said with a smirk. "The goblet was still squeaking."

"Oh, shut up." She scowled while the rest of us laughed.

I didn't join in.

My mind was elsewhere; caught in a train of thought I'd never allowed myself to follow this far before.

Defence Against the Dark Arts.

Defending yourself against dark things.

Against people like my father.

Maybe even people like me, someday.

Was that the path waiting for me?

Mum had sent me here to escape the shadow of our name. Dumbledore had agreed to enroll me under her maiden name. A clean slate. A chance at something normal.

But the truth still lived in me, sharp and permanent:

My father was in Azkaban.

A follower of You-Know-Who.

My family was pureblooded, proud, and dangerous.

And I believed in some of those ideals. I wasn't ashamed to admit that—not even to myself. I didn't think Muggle-borns belonged here. Blood traitors might be worse. But Mum had kept me away from the darkest pieces of that world.

Maybe she regretted everything.

Or maybe she just didn't want to lose me too.

My head ached.

"Erm, guys, I'll see you later," I said suddenly. "I need to go and check on Shadow."

A lie.

I just needed space.

I wandered down to the lake and sat beneath a tree. The breeze helped loosen the tightness in my chest.

"Erin?"

I looked up. Lee Jordan was approaching, looking unsure but determined.

"Oh. Hi, Lee." I tried to sound casual, though guilt twisted in my stomach.

"Listen... I'm sorry about Fred and George," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "They were out of line yesterday. You're my friend, and I should've backed you up better."

I shook my head. "It's alright. I get it. I'm a Slytherin. Comes with the territory, right?"

He let out a laugh. "Well, you're definitely not the typical Slytherin."

"Guess I messed up the stereotype." I smiled faintly. "And I'm sorry too, about how my friends treated you. You didn't deserve that."

Lee waved it off. "Water under the bridge. Fred and George fired first, anyway. You've got your friends, I've got mine. Doesn't mean we can't still be... us."

I snorted. "Us?"

"You know. Partners in crime. You and me." He sat down beside me on the warm grass.

"I didn't break my promise, either," he added.

"Which promise?" I raised an eyebrow.

"That we'd hang out today." His grin widened. "Even if it's only for a bit. Told you I was reliable."

"Shame we've got class, though," I sighed. "McGonagall's probably pacing already."

"Damn. You're right." He jumped to his feet and offered me a hand. "Let's not test her patience."

I took it and stood. "Maybe we can finish this conversation later?"

"Definitely." He smiled. "See you later, Ezza."

"Later, Lee."