a place of relaxation and tranquility smack dab in the middle of one of the busiest cities in the country. she came here to work, and he came here to get away from work. sly glances and silly jokes turn into something unexpected to say the least. al...
"cause he is the truth said he is so real and i love the way that he makes me feel and if i am a reflection of him then i must be fly because his light it shines so bright i wouldn't lie"
(the truth -- india.arie)
☕️🍂
Naila Brathwaite. September 1, 2016. Seattle, Washington.
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Sitting near the window on a first class flight that Kaison got for us for our journey home, my feelings are scattered. The serene silence of the plane ride as I have my earplugs in with no sound coming out of them, I'm unfortunately left alone with just my thoughts. Kai is sleeping soundly, snoring a little at times but it's cute. Looking at his peaceful face as he's sleeping makes me feel worse than I already do. This man would go to the end of the earth for me but honestly, I don't know if I feel the same. When he first came into my life I felt like I needed him, that he was an anchor for me because of how miserable my life was. I was still recovering from the trauma I experienced years before, and I was alone in a city that I loved but a job that I hated. I love him, am in love with him but right now doesn't seem to be the time. After all this time apart I had hoped that when he did come back that things would be better, different even but that doesn't seem to be the case. When we finally touch down stateside, I'll try my hardest to be completely honest with him.
-
Opening the door to my condo, the sight of the huge sliding patio doors and the pink and white color scheme comforted me almost immediately. I had a pounding headache the entire time we were in the Uber on our way to my home, and now that I'm back in a place that feels familiar and secure, I can finally relax.
Kaison and I have hardly said a word to one another since landing and I can feel the extremely uncomfortable awkwardness lingering in the air. I know I have had much to contribute to this, but it's weird being uncomfortable in my own house. Him and I are sitting adjacent from each other at the dining room table as the aroma from the food he's cooking is simmering. I'm fumbling with my fingers at this point because I don't really know what to say. What is there to say? Last time him and I had a true conversation was when I was staying at his place after being released from the hospital and the unfortunate reappearance of my "father" and ex-boyfriend. Sure, one could say that the way I departed from Khalil after Chris reappeared was uncalled for but what else was there for me to do? My vulnerability has gotten me in trouble many times in the past and this was no different.
"So..."
"So..."
With a heavy sigh, Kaison asked me, "Naila ... what are we doing? You're back home and god am I happy about that, but there's still something going on with us. I know it. I know you, and I need you to talk to me because I want to make this work. It's just as hard for me as it is for you but I have to know that you want this to work."
