[Joey x Chandler] COMPILATION OF SHORT STORIES FROM AO3

Metaphorically Awkward

Eddie was gone, Joey was back where he belonged, and it was all very awkward and 'no, please, I insist, you use the can first. I can hold it.' Neither of them thought to go next door to use the girls' toilet. That thought pattern only applied when awkwardness wasn't in the air.

Chandler hated it. He had Joey back, and he and Joey had never been awkward. Except that one time, but that was the day they met, and it was expected of first meetings that they be awkward and uncomfortable and generally rushed because who the hell wants to spend another minute with someone who thinks you're gay? Especially when you could be spending plenty of minutes with guy who has porn star for a sister.

Spend time with the guy who has a porn star for a sister in a totally non gay way, of course.

But Chandler had drifted way off the subject, and he and Joey had only been awkward that one time. Nothing a bit of Baywatch couldn't fix.

Chandler was pretty sure they were past Baywatch fixing though, and that was the most horrible realization he'd had all his life. Period. Even more horrifying than . . .

Well, his entire childhood, for one.

Joey moving out had hurt. A lot more than Chandler had thought it would. Not that he'd applied much thought to Joey leaving him in the first place.

Leaving the apartment, not leaving him. Joey wasn't his. He wasn't Joey's, and it wasn't an abandonment factor, not in the slightest.

Chandler kept trying to convince himself that.

********

Chandler had all but figured out the awkwardness.

It was an abandonment factor, and he couldn't help but metaphorically hang his head at the realization. What the hell, he might have physically hung his head as well; Joey was too busy being anywhere but here at the moment to notice, because there was that whole awkwardness thing going on, and not being there was easier than 'no, really, my bladder is that good and I can hold it. You go first!'

Chandler was scared that he was gonna piss Joey off in some way, and Joey would pack up his things and his stupid huge white dog, and leave.

He just wasn't sure if his pathetic little heart could take that. Not again. Especially if it came with another psycho roommate. Besides, in the few days since the stupid huge white dog had moved in, Chandler had kinda gotten used to it's presence, even if it did only come out when Ross was here. Which, in the few days since, was hardly never. Ross much preferred Mon's. Mon had the decency to feed her brother. And the talent to boot.

But the stupid huge white dog was there, and Chandler and it – perhaps even Chandler and him, although he hadn't looked close enough to see if it was a boy or a girl dog – we're developing a . . .

He couldn't even say it, because he really couldn't care less about the stupid huge white dog. But it was Joey's, and if the dog left, that meant Joe was gone too.

He'd definitely gotten used to Joey's presence. And they were back to that whole abandonment thing again, but Chandler couldn't quite bring himself to dance around that realization for too long. That lasted all of twenty minutes; Chandler loved to do his victory dance, never passed up an opportunity, even if this dance was more one of failure and defeat.

It still had all the same movements, just with the look of sheer angst replacing his over the top grin.

********

Joey didn't pack his things, and the next time Ross came around, they brought the dog out together. Chandler still didn't check to see if it was a boy. Sometimes assuming something was better than being a freaky pervert. Even if the accuser was made of porcelain.