[Joey x Chandler] COMPILATION OF SHORT STORIES FROM AO3

you're the closest to heaven that i'll ever be

Joey finds Chandler on the couch in Mr. Heckles' apartment, wearing one of the guy's old robes and flipping through his yearbook like he's conducting some sort of séance.

"Have you been here all night?" Joey isn't sure he wants an answer to that question, but, fuck it, it's already left his mouth.

Chandler looks up at him and beckons him closer. "Look at this," he says, vicariously confirming that, yes, he's totally been here all night; Joey worries that Chandler may never be a well-adjusted, properly-functioning adult, but if he's honest that kind of charms him a little. "Pictures of all the women Heckles went out with. Look what he wrote on them."

Joey's tempted to sigh and distract him with breakfast, but he doesn't get the chance, because Chandler's handing him photos to sift through. Joey does manage a small sigh.

Chandler doesn't seem to hear it though. "Vivian: too tall. Madge: big gums. Too loud, too smart, makes noise when she eats. This is—this is me. This is what I do. I'm gonna end up alone, just like he did."

Joey rolls his eyes, shoves the pictures into the crease of the book. "Chandler, Heckles was a nut-case."

"Our trains are on the same track, okay?" Chandler says sharply, setting the yearbook on the couch before he stands up to pace the floor. "Yeah, sure, I'm coming up thirty years behind him, but the stops are all the same: Bitter Town. Aloneville. Hermit Junction!"

Joey pushes a hand through his hair, because as much as he likes Chandler his histrionics really stress him out. "Alright, y'know what we gotta do? We gotta get you outta here. C'mon, I'll buy you breakfast. Let's go."

"What if I never find someone?" Chandler asks, incredulous, and it breaks Joey's heart to hear that he honestly thinks he'll end up alone. "Or worse, what if I've found her, but I dumped her because she pronounced it 'supposably'?"

Joey swallows back the lump in his throat, says, "Chandler, c'mon, you're gonna find somebody." Joey can't be the only one who finds Chandler ridiculously endearing; he can't be.

"How do you know that? How?"

"I dunno, I'm just tryin' to help you out." Chandler's staring him down pretty intensely; Joey rubs the back of his neck and looks away.

"You'll see, you guys are all gonna go off and get married, and I'm gonna end up alone. Will you promise me something? When you're married, will you invite me over for holidays?"

Joey wants to do something stupid and reckless, like grabbing Chandler's face in his hands and kissing him until he gets it through his thick fucking skull that he's not going to end up alone because he'll always have Joey. Instead, he mumbles, "I was kinda hopin' I wouldn't have to." Chandler's expression crumbles in heartache, and Joey continues. "I—I mean, you usually don't have to invite the person you marry, y'know?"

Chandler flinches like Joey's just slapped him. "Get out."

Joey's never been rejected so viciously. He feels the sting of it deep in his chest. "Look, I'm just—I'm just sayin', you got options, okay?"

"I don't want options! Not like that! And I definitely don't need your pity!"

That stops him, slows his thought processes a bit. "Is that what you think this is?" Joey asks, studying Chandler's face. "I'm askin' you out 'cause I pity you? Or is this some weird thing about your dad?"

Chandler jolts at the words, his jaw clenched tight. "Fuck you." He storms across the floor to leave, but Joey grabs his sleeve to stop him.

"Chandler, wait. C'mon, just—just one date, okay?" Joey has never had to beg for a date in his goddamn life. This must be what it feels like to be Chandler. "One date, and we don't have to do anything you don't wanna do. You can pick the time, the place, whatever; I'll pay for everything. If you don't feel like we could make this work, then that's okay. I won't mention it again. But you can't just write me off without even givin' this a try," he pleads, hating how sleazy and manipulative this sounds. He's never pushed this hard with anyone, never veered into "overzealous creep" territory. Joey tastes disgust in the back of his throat. "You got somebody better on speed-dial?"