[Joey x Chandler] COMPILATION OF SHORT STORIES FROM AO3

Lost My Fear of Falling (I Will Be With You)

She's always taken Phoebe's breath away, ever since day one. Ever since she burst into Central Perk, eyeliner running, hem of her perfect white dress tainted with the grime of New York city.
Phoebe's entire world stopped for a second when Rachel was standing helplessly in the middle of the cafe. She could see Rachel's lips moving, hear the general sympathetic murmur of the guys, see Monica go in for a hug, and her pounding heart was echoing in her brain. All she could think was, "God, she's beautiful." And then her brain started to function, and she said something really stupid about her ex, and then Rachel's eyes were on her. Artificially shiny with tears, but still the kind of blue that poets wrote ocean metaphors about. All Phoebe wanted to do was to kiss away her tears, make her forget Barry, and replace everywhere he touched her with her own hands. Even with red rimmed eyes, smudged mascara, and messy hair, she was beautiful. She was so damn beautiful, ethereally so, and Phoebe was so gone for her.

The hardest part was being around her. Rachel didn't walk, she floated. She shone brighter than a supernova, and Phoebe was just a neutron star.

She watched from afar so long. She watched heartbreak after heartbreak. She watched her get back together with Ross despite their relationship being a time bomb that would inevitably leave a shard in her heart, and she would always be the one to rub her back and tell her how much Ross stank. Hurricane Ross, who would take her by storm, destroy her, and leave her a wreck. Then she'd go back to him, and the cycle would start all over again.

It wasn't just Ross, either. It was also a seemingly endless stream of absolute nothing guys, who would all have some kind of fault, and devastate her.

But there were other people for Phoebe, too. Various boys, and girls, who would leave the morning after, or dump her after a couple of weeks, or cheat. None of them lasted longer than a month. Her heart felt like a smashed vase; broken by someone careless and cracked beyond repair.

But then along came Mike. Lovely, sweet, caring, Mike, whom she met by accident. His touch was like magic, and he mended her broken heart, just a little bit. They had so much fun together, they went so many places, but it just wasn't destined to last. Loving him was like holding together her heart with superglue; it worked for a little while, but eventually, it's going to fall apart. She loved Mike, she really did. But it was always going to be Rachel. As much as she loved Mike, it was Rachel's face that crept into her mind in the early hours, not the man lying next to her.

Slowly, but surely, the spark begins to fade, and Mike notices. He notices the way Phoebe looks at Rachel, the enamoured look in her eyes when she enters the room, like Jesus Himself just came through the door. The way Phoebe talks about her, with glassy eyes and a smile that can't leave her face.
So her sits her down one day. He strokes her cheeks, for the last time.

'You love Rachel, don't you?'
The question takes her by surprise, and she looks up, gasping, and her widened blues meet Mike's knowing greens. He's seen it before. That was the reason his last "perfect" marriage ended up as a train wreck. She fell for another.

All she can do is nod.
'I'm sorry.' she says, enveloping him in a hug and burrowing her face into his warm shoulder. He pushes her away to arm's length, and studies her with a sad smile.
'Phoebe, you love her. You have for so long. Me and you – we were great. But it's always been her, hasn't it?'
She nods again, warm tears spilling down her blushed cheeks.
'Yeah. Don't let me stand in the way. I'll be ok. Go get your girl.'

She hugs him again, thanks him for everything, and leaves. But it's not that easy. It never is. She misses Mike. Maybe they weren't meant to be, but all she wants to do is run back to his arms, because it's safe. She doesn't have to worry about stupid cute girls with dumb blue eyes and ridiculous blonde hair. Straight girls, who are unattainable. Straight girls, who she is in love with.