flipped

fifty-three.

쉰셋

     practice, perform, puke, repeat.

     that's how jungkook's days have been since the day the older left him. jungkook left his house that night and hasn't returned since then. he has been either sleeping in his company's dance room or hoseok's apartment. no one dares to ask him what happened because it's written on his face. his manager is worried but jungkook doesn't dare to say a word or him and jimin both will be at risk.

     they were not even in a real relationship yet it hurts so bad. jungkook doesn't want to know if jimin is hurting or not because he's torn. if jimin would be hurting, jungkook would hurt as well, and if jimin would not be hurting, jungkook's selfish side would come to play and he'll be hurt again.

     to keep his mind off jimin he practices all day, does it until he can't feel his muscles, until he's numb. because if he doesn't feel numb this way, he'll retort to other things and it won't be good for him since he has performances every two days. he has been very close to visiting a club but due to his increasing fan following he can't do that. smoking was his other option and he has a 7 eleven store beside hoseok's house but again, being popular has it's drawbacks.

     "kook." he hears as he has his eyes close and body numb. he hums to let the person know he's alive. "i've got food."

     "not hungry," he simply mumbles and covers his face with the pillow. hoseok's bed is soft and it's the last thing he wants right now, he craves pain.

     hoseok walks closer to him keeps the food tray on the side table and sits beside the younger boy. "jungkook," his voice is soft, concern clearly audible. "you need to eat. the weight you've lost in the last two weeks is more than what you've lost since you became a trainee."

     "i don't fucking care," he mumbles, his voice muffled due the the pillow he has pressed against his face.

     hoseok sighs, jungkook has been a little brother to him and seeing him like this hurts. jungkook has always been sensitive towards relationships and that's the reason hosoek always kept an eye on him, never let him get hurt. but now, looking at the boy suffer as he himself put him into this situation, he feels guilt. "did you even talk to him after that night?"

     jungkook lifts the pillow off his face and turns to hoseok. "i can't face him. he doesn't trust me." he laughs, bitter. "not that i'm trustable. i fucking lied to him about everything."

     "your feelings are not a lie jungkook," hoseok says a little too loud. he would be lying if he says he isn't angry. he is pissed at jimin's although it's not even the boy's fault.

     "how do i make him believe that?" jungkook has this sour smile on him that it hurts more than the sad one. "when the start of our relationship was a lie. not for him, he was truthful since the start but on my side, it was all a lie. i didn't deserve him anyway. he's better off with yoongi. i hope yoongi doesn't fall for him though." jungkook laughs agaian, he's hysterical now. it's almost maddening.

     "yoongi likes him?" hosoek asks, his own selfish side coming into play. although he was drunk when he had met yoongi in taehyung's party, he hasn't forgotten.

     "he does," jungkook says, as he tries to observe the change in hoseok. he smiles bitterly, "we don't get what we want, do we?"

❝it's a cruel world where people don't get what they want. at least, never at the right time❞