EmPATHETICally Blind (A skinny love story)

Chapter 23: Why does it have to be her

 Matt's POV:

It was humiliating beyond belief, telling Emilee my story. And yeah, all of it was true, even the fact that I did see Marcus's face. I'll never forget it either, he looked so sad, so worried. I'd never tell him. Ever. Just the thought of him either being so fricking touched or laughing his ass off just made me shudder.

And, after I told her my story, I knew she was a better person than me. She could've laughed in my face, about how stupid my story was. She could've got up and left, thinking I was pathetic. She could've scrambled away even, and leave me freezing cold in a tent all night. No, only I did that apparently.

And as soon as she proved that she was a much better person, I knew for a fact that I would die if she wasn't mine. I was sort of crushing on her since the beginning, when she agreed to go on a spontaneous adventure with me that first night. The past weekend was to actually prove to her that I liked her.

I even tried to kiss her, but she tensed up and splashed water at me instead.

        Why did it have to be her??? God, the one person I like just has to be the one I most definitely will never be able to have. I know this because she deserves so much better than me. She needs a guy who can tell her she's beautiful straight up, when if I say it, It doesn't mean chicken shit because I barely have an idea of what she looks like. She deserves someone who doesn't get freaked out by who she really is. God, I'm never gonna forgive myself for that.

She needs someone who isn't a fucking drunk.

        "Matt? You're sad." Emilee whispers next to me. There she goes with the emotion reading thing again, but this time, I didn't mind. 

We're sitting in our last class and I was just ready to go home. Go home and drink.

        "I'm listening to a sad book." I lie. She hits my shoulder lightly.

        "Liar. Why are you sad." She whispers angrily. I sigh. Like hell I could tell her all this.

        "Because I'm still an ass." I say.

        "Because you have an ass???" She whispers, mishearing me. I start laughing, trying to keep it quiet, only to start laughing harder, so much the teacher asks if I need to leave the room. I do and I'm literally sitting there in the hallway laughing as quietly as I can until I calm myself down. I feel tears running down my cheeks, and I realize I'm crying. Oh God, I'm going to be put in a nuthouse, I'm sure.

I finally go back in when I'm done, and Em is probably staring at me like i'm fucking insane. I knew she could feel my emotions coming from me, she must be getting a butt load.

        "No because I am one." I whisper back. 

        "Oh. Yeah well, we all have our butt-tacular moments. You can make it up to me somehow." She says. The bell rings and I stand up, waiting as Emilee collects her stuff. I don't really have to bring anything to school except for my phone to listen to during silent reading time. Otherwise I just listen to lectures.

        "How?" I ask.

        "How am I supposed to know? Think of something." She says. I hear wrapping paper, and then the strong scent of raspberries wafts past, and I know she's taking out another raspberry sucker. She once told me her mom threatened to stop getting them for her because she was getting cavities.

Wait...that gives me an idea.

***

My watch beeps midnight as I exit the convinience store, carrying three sacks full. I've literally had to stop at 3 stores, spending about $20 bucks. But it's worth it. Now I'm on my way to the school, with the sacks and my mom's bobby pin in hand. I prayed that the school didn't have an alarm system, due to the fact it was a pretty old school.

I got up to it just from the smell of desperation and despair, and went up to the door, picking the lock. I could hear and feel the small locks click back and forth as I picked, and finally a loud click told me I was in. I opened the door and no alarm sounded. But that didn't mean that a silent alarm didn't notify the police, so I had to hurry.

I went down the hallway and started sniffing lockers. I know, I know, weird, but you could definitely tell a person by their smell. She smelled like her suntan lotion, and also flowers. I finally smelled it, plus remembered that yes, this was her locker. I did her combination because she told me it once, and started working, filling her locker full to the brim. Some were spilling out so I started the pile behind two books, so when she moved the books at the begining of the day, they'd all fall.

I grinned, knowing she'd definitely be surprised.