Micky's Poems

Heartbeat

(Inspired by the Childish Gambino song of the same name)
CW: references to drug usage, despite it not actually being what it's alluding to

Thump thump thump thump
Goes the rhythmic beat
But it's not like I'm in love, no.
There is only fear in me.

The damn demon's on the prowl,
More powerful than ever,
And I'm a suit made of meat
In a field of rabid dogs.

I was dragged out, I tell you!
I never did a damn thing!
But all of a sudden I'm torn
To pieces by its long teeth,

Telling me things it never mentioned,
Yelling about things I never knew,
Putting me in a chokehold
Simply for wearing shorts.

It's a constant dance, I tell you,
One where it only wins,
As it tears me from the inside out,
And yet I keep coming back.

The nurses ward is in pieces.
Broken glass, bloodstains, and medicine everywhere
With the lights barely turning on,
But I still try to find my "antidote".

It's one simple needle
Labeled "antidote".
It's the strongest one I can make
And only at the cost of my sanity.

I jab it in without hesitation,
In my neck, my arm, wherever.
I don't care what happens to me.
I just want relief.

Soon everything gets dizzy
And I hear the first song in my head.
I'm crying on emotional pain
But I still smile and sing.

I sing and sing and sing
Until the drug takes full effect
And soon I'm in a field of soft grass,
Not even noticing my brutal injuries.

This is not the solution; I know
I can't survive like this for long,
But I don't care if I live or die.
I just want to be numb.

I want to be ignorant.
I want to be naive.
I want to forget.
Please let me forget...