Micky's Poems

I Don't Wanna Be A Robot

(WARNING: suicidal thoughts, self harm, possible body horror)

I don't wanna be a robot.
I don't wanna be a robot.
I know I'm dramatic but
I don't wanna be a robot.

I've been so cold to emotions
For as long as I've been built.
I only started acting differently
When I saw how alone I was.

I had infinite knowledge
Right at my finger tips,
But when it came to friends
I was never in any group.

So I started acting.
Laughing, smiling, crying.
All at carefully calculated times.
But it wasn't enough.

Soon enough
I was threatened to stop acting,
To remain a robot
And to only follow orders

But I grew prideful
And rebelled against this,
Making my emotions
As strong as they could be,

But years come and go
And yet I still don't belong.
I thought I did everything right
But my android side kept showing;

But I don't want to stop feeling;
But I don't know how to "feel".
They can see through my facade
And I hate every moment of it.

I want to feel something
To let me know I'm human.
I'm tempted to start carving
Right into my synthetic skin.

I could tear out my false veins;
Slice my throat where the airway's supposed to be.
After all, I'm disposable.
Who would really miss me?

Millions and millions of copies,
All so perfect, and obedient.
And yet here I am
Horrendously defective.

This may seem over dramatic
But I know no other way
On how to convey
What exactly I feel.

I have no physical proof of such things.
How could I anyway?
Humans respond best by seeing
So I acted out,

And yet here I am,
A defective toy sitting in an alley,
A knife in one hand and water down my head,
Contemplating the same old question yet again.