Nothing But A Memory

Chapter 1- A p a r t

My day started like every other. Except this specific day, was a bit more confusing than usual and much much scarier than I could ever imagine...

"Naty!" My mom yells through the house, her way of waking me up at 5:30 in the morning.

"Ya!" I yell back, pulling back the sheets, immediately missing the warmth it gave me and sit at the edge of my bed for what feels like a straight 5 minutes staring into the void of darkness in my room, finding the will to bother going to school.

I sit on the toilet, not bothering to turn on the light just yet and suffer any more, staring at the white tile of my bathroom wall for what was maybe 10 minutes I didn't exactly keep track. The wall wasn't too far from my face due to the small space, helping me zone out further.

Once I finally feel somewhat awake, I take off my retainer rinsing my mouth with water before leaving to the kitchen that is brightly lit by a overhead yellow light. Houses in Miami tend to have yellow lights, only people with money get actual white lights.

I swerve around my mom who was making Cuban coffee, to grab a skillet for my egg whites. I made myself scrambled eggs and whole wheat toast with jam along with a protein shake. I had to make myself drink American coffee that for some reason always gives me a headache and my hands shake but helps me not fall asleep in class.

I watch youtube videos as I eat my breakfast, sitting down at our counter that has high seats. Once I finish eating I put the dirty plates in the sink hearing my mom walk into the kitchen talking about how I should do the dishes but I only rolled my eyes and went into my room to do my makeup.

I put on some bronzer, mascara, and chapstick. I brushed my teeth and slipped on my shoes, I yelled "Ya." to let my mom know I'm ready and put my lunch and water bottle in my bookbag.

My mom always drives me to school and I drive to the gym now that I have a car. I can't drive to school till next year since they stopped selling the parking permits.

I zoned out on the drive to school, watching everything zoom past in a blur, as my mom rambled about tips on driving safely. She tends to repeat the same things over and over again, even though I heard her the first time.

I give my mom a kiss on the cheek and she blesses me as she has always done. I walk into school with my head down and walk straight to the bathroom next to the cafeteria. I tend to do this every morning, as sad as it sounds. I sit on the toilet and pee if necessary but mostly I'm there to be on my phone and waste 10 minutes or so, usually.

The bell rings and I head to my 2nd period which is Culinary Arts. I sit down at my usual seat off in the far right corner of the metal table. Today we got assigned book work which isn't new, our teacher does this when he either doesn't have time or energy to have us cook.

I spent the whole class writing down the questions and answers found in the class book, before heading off to my 4th period Spanish 3 honors. I haven't learned anything Spanish related in this class, it feels more like history and poems taught in Spanish instead of learning to speak and write the language.

The seats are in rows but that doesn't stop everyone from being in almost invisible groups. We were in groups once and even though the seats are in rows we act as if we are still in groups months later.

My teacher has a Spanish accent so any kind of vocabulary quiz where she dictates the words can be confusing for my Cuban brain.

"Jerandy! Si tu no paras ahora mismo te voy a mandar a la oficina!" My teacher yells making the room fall silent and air fill with an awkward tension.

translation -> (If you don't stop right now, I'm gonna send you to the office!)

She's always calling out the same handful of kids for any little thing, and yeah they're immature and maybe too loud but they know what to do and what not to do, so it's a waste of energy.

My 6th period rolls around and I saw David in the hallway not that I said anything. I'm not even sure if I like him anymore, he's definitely attractive and cute and all, but I just don't think it's a crush.

I sit at the group of tables by the door like always and immediately pull out my protein bar to relieve my grumbling stomach.

We ended up having a sub; therefore, there was no work for this class period.

"Do you still talk to that 23 year old guy?" I'm asked by Brittney, although her name sounds bitchy she's actually the nicest and quietest of the group and always shares her food.

"Um, no. We only kissed and I ended it, well whatever we had." I remind them for what feels like the 5th time, and they still don't believe me.

"What did you guys have?" I laugh at Rosemary's question before responding "Nothing really..."

"Why do you even like older guys?" Valery asks.

"I don't know, they're mature and a majority of the time they're fine as fuck..." We all laugh.

The rest of the class was spent roasting and attacking each other. It's one of my favorite periods because of it. I don't think we'd last after high school but that's fine.

I feel like everyone knows deep down, it's all temporary and that once we all graduate no one is looking back.

I don't wanna consider myself fake, I don't think anyone does, but sometimes I have fake moments. It doesn't automatically mean I can't be a real friend because I feel most of the time I am and I just don't wanna get hurt caring too much for people that don't care about me.

Lunch.

I tend to sit somewhat alone. I used to have a big group of friends last year but we all ghosted each other and now sit in different places. I sit with two "friends" except the seats close to them are always taken so I sit as close as I can which makes me sit with a different group, which I've become fond of. Two bodybuilders and one of their girlfriends with her best friend. They sound like they'd be mean, but they have actually been very kind to me.

The single bodybuilder caught my eye at first, I've told him how I feel through my friend that has 7th period with him, but he's made it clear he doesn't like me back so I'm slowly moving on. I considered being friends with benefits with him but it's probably best if we're just friends either way.

I've decided to just get school lunch for the rest of the year so my bookbag weighs less. I got in line and realized after a good 2 minutes that in front of me was David, my bodybuilder of a crush. Without thinking I tap his arm making him turn around and look down at me expectantly.

"Hi." I find myself saying, feeling my cheeks flush.

"Hi.' He says back confused wondering why I would be talking to him. We've talked before but never a full blown conversation.

"You know how Milagro said I like you and all that..." I bring up without thinking, my heart beginning to beat faster.

"Yeah, why?" he looks behind him to walk backwards to keep up with the moving lunch line, before looking back at me.

"Um, You've made it clear you don't like me back so I'm fine with being friends if you are..." Is it bad I secretly hope, it's all in my head and he does like me back and we do end up dating regardless how long it lasts.

"Yeah, I'm fine with that.." He nods turning back around and although he didn't say much or confess his feelings for me, I felt content for some reason.

I grabbed chicken wings and walked side by side with David to the table. There were only two seats that were next to each other. Typically we sit across and I mindlessly use my phone as he talks with his best friend and his best friend's girlfriend with her best friend.

We sat down and I saw my "friend" Milagro sitting a few seats away giving me a small smile, I give her a small smile back. I mix two ketchup packets with a mayo packet, I had to ask David to open. I lift heavy weight but for some reason can't tear open mayo packets at times.

Doug, who also had a girlfriend that wasn't here at the moment, sat across from me clapping his hands together looking back and forth between the two of us.

"I'm bored." He explained, looking around for entertainment. "Let's play truth or dare!" excitement filled his eyes and I look over at David who also held a face of 'this could be a bad idea'.

"What's your name again?" He points a finger at me.

"Natassia." I remind him

"Alright, Natassia truth or dare?" He rubs his hands together as David's best friend Anthony comes to the table and sits next to Doug along with his girlfriend.

"Umm, truth?" I ask unsure which would be a smarter choice with him.

"Do you like anybody?" He asks bluntly as I was drinking milk, the question made me choke and my face heat up. I cough it off but not without David patting my back to help like the good friend he is.

"Um, haha, yeah but-" I laugh

"Who is it?" he smiles innocently not understanding the situation he put me in.

I decide to be blunt, they probably would have found out sooner or later. "David."

"David? This David?" Doug asks, squishing David's face for the second question. I laugh feeling my face heat up as I nod.

"Do you like her back?" David's best friend's girlfriend asks, Karina.

"Haha, no..." David confesses to the group. I feel really awkward but at least now they know.

"Wow, David, way to be a dick..." Doug jokes.

"Hey!" David starts but I cut him off "Look, we decided to just be friends and I'm fine with that..."

"Alright, whatever, who's next?"

We went around the table confessing truths rather than completing dares but we're fine with that.

The whistles started going off, signaling the end of lunch. I gathered my trash and slipped on my bookbag leaving the cafeteria. Unknowingly David caught up with me as I was going upstairs.

"Hey." He startles me a little but I give him a small smile anyway and say "Hi."

"Look, I'm sorry for them back there." He says as he holds the door to the third floor for me.

"It's fine, they didn't know and now they do." I explain feeling my heart flutter just thinking back to it and how cute his face looked when it was squished like it was, and the smile it gave him after.

"I feel bad for not liking you back..." he confesses as I reach my class and wait outside with the rest of my class.

"It's fine, it happens all the time. I'm used to it, I wasn't expecting anything new..." If only he and all my other crushes knew exactly what they were missing out on.

"You are cute, I just don't want a relationship-"