Nothing But A Memory

Chapter 24- R e v i s i t

Are you sure your ready? Its still pretty soon, you can always wait you know? I cover his mouth to silence him before wrapping my arms around his neck and press my forehead against Davids.

I want to try and find out. I bite my full bottom lip to try and forget yesterday.

Slut! Should have closed your legs!

You let yourself get raped!

I mean with nudes like that, who wouldnt wanna rape her?

I press my lips against his like if they were the solution I so desperately craved for my problems. The only problem is his kisses dont turn me on like they used to so he isnt the solution Ive been looking for high and low.

Maybe if we keep going Itll feel just like old times.

I wanna feel you inside me. I lie in hopes that soon it will be true.

How could I say no? He jokes but it hit home.

Are you okay? He stops laughing and tries to meet my distant eyes.

Yeah, lets just, um, skip the dirty talk. I push him to fall back onto the bed and straddle his hips to rock myself against him but I still wasnt feeling turned on.

Um, youre doing it kinda hard. David lifts me up a little bit to ease from the pain I caused him.

Im sorry, I just- I sit down on the edge of the bed sobbing into my hands like the pathetic emotional bitch I am.

Its okay David holds me as I let the tears flow freely for the millionth time.

Ill bet this doesnt happen with Selena I comment, wiping away stray tears

Why are you thinking about Selena?

You guys are still dating right? He nods confused

I just, I dont get it. I start off my rant

"What would a simple, basic routine ass bitch give you other than keep you in your comfort zone and bore you. I can keep you on the edge of your seat physically and figuratively, I can make you grow as a person and feel things you never thought you could before, if you'd let me show you..."

"I can't...You know it's not that simple, she has feelings..." He tries to deny everything I have and will make him feel

"You can't deny I can make you feel things you didn't think were possible..." I say closing off the distance between us until our lips are only an inch apart and both of our chest rising and falling quickly. We make each other nervous.

"So what? That wouldn't be fair to Selena-"

"But would it be fair to yourself? To settle? In your comfort zone?" I question him

"I-I don't know-" He starts but I finish him

"No, it wouldn't be fair because you deservw better. You deserve me. You deserve the fire tornado that is me."

"What if I don't be burned? To be the leftovers to your disaster?"

"Who said any of that would happen? We can burn together. We can be disasters together!" I plead my eyes tearing up

"Don't cry..." He pleads softly tearing up as well

"Do you not want me?" The thought alone brought a tear to run down my cheek

"What? Of course- It doesn't matter if I want you, I'm with Selena."

I stay silent, feeling hopeless in winning him over.